Thursday, March 12, 2009

New Blog Name

I decided to change my blog name. Partly because I wanted something simpler and partly because I wanted to highlight one of the things the Lord has been teaching me lately. Why "Day by Day?" It started back in October/November when we were undergoing IVF. At the start of the process, it seemed completely overwhelming. How could I possibly take all those drugs, give myself shots every day, undergo surgery, etc. I remember looking at the at-home pharmacy I had on what use to be my kitchen counter thinking how am I ever going to remember what to take when I supposed to take it. How am I going to do this? And that's just some of the physical aspects. For me the emotional part of putting myself through all that and getting my hopes up, only to have it potentially not work was even more difficult. But the Lord spoke to me during this time, saying fix your eyes on me and take one day at I time. That's how you will get through this. And so I did and He faithfully saw me through the process.

Losing Johannah also meant the return of infertility. This is the other reason I like the name "Day by Day." When I think about infertility and the possibility that it will never end, it is overwhelming. But when I think about enduring infertility just for today, it is so much more manageable. The thing is I have no idea how long infertility is going to last, things could change tomorrow. All I need to do is look to the Lord trusting and obeying Him each day. When I do so, He provides me with "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow" (from the hymn "Great is thy Faithfulness).

One of the other things I really struggle with is wanting the Lord to give me a detailed road map of where I am heading. I want to know the outcome. In my ladies Bible study, I have been studying "Experiencing God" by Henry Blackaby. One of the points Blackaby made that really hit home with me was this one:

We say, "Lord, if You could just tell me where I am heading, then I will be able to set my course and go." He says, "You don't need to. You need to follow Me one day at a time." This response comes only from those who have learned to walk closely with God and to trust Him to care for the details of their lives.... Who really knows the way for you to go to fulfill God's purpose for your life? Who knows how you can experience abundant life? God. Jesus said, "I am the way."

By nature, I am a worrier and I like to be in control. But that is not how the Lord want me to live. He wants me to trust Him, to put my hand in His and follow Him step by step, one day at a time, wherever He leads me.

After I came up with "Day by Day," I wondered if there were any Scriptures that used that term. I found 2 Cor 4:16-18,

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

I love this Scripture. It says exactly what the Lord has been teaching me, which is to fix my eyes on Him and have an eternal focus. As painful as infertility is, it is a "light and momentary trouble" when viewed from the perspective of eternity.

Then I googled "day by day" and came across a hymn written by Lina Sandell. It was written not long after she watched her father drown after being thrown overboard after the ship they were traveling on suddenly lurched. Here are the lyrics:
  1. Day by day, and with each passing moment,
    Strength I find to meet my trials here;
    Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment,
    I've no cause for worry or for fear.
    He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure,
    Gives unto each day what He deems best,
    Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure,
    Mingling toil with peace and rest.

  2. Every day the Lord Himself is near me,
    With a special mercy for each hour;
    All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me,
    He whose name is Counsellor and Pow'r.
    The protection of His child and treasure
    Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
    "As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,"
    This the pledge to me He made.

  3. Help me then, in every tribulation,
    So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
    That I lose not faith's sweet consolation,
    Offered me within Thy holy Word.
    Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
    E'er to take, as from a father's hand,
    One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
    Till with Christ the Lord I stand.


Stacey said...

This is great Becky. Love the new name and the hymn. Old hymns are such treasures!

Thanks for the comment on my blog. I appreciate what you said on the post called "Not Easy." I did want to let you know that although we try to be as supportive as we can to our friends who are expecting, sometimes there are limits to what we know we can take. The fact is that many times I choose to stay away and protect myself from hurt. I haven't been able to go to a baby shower in a few years now because it is just too hard to keep my composure. I usually send a gift and a card, but I can't endure the crowds there. My husband couldn't go to the one at his work last week either. Even after so much time has passed, we are still grieving in a way.

There are so many challenges "day by day" as you know, but I'm so thankful for a God who cares!

Thinking of you, Becky. Oh, and thanks for the DC offer! How many of us could you house? I know my mom would love to go back! :)

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Dave and Elaine said...

I find it interesting how God leads me to certain blogs to teach me things or reiterate something He is trying to teach me. The "Day by Day" theme is something that God laid on my heart at the beginning of this IVF journey as, like you, I was very afraid and overwhelmed about going through the process.
God taught me to tackle things one day at a not look at all the meds together but to look at just that day's meds. That mind frame totally changed my persepective on the whole IVF process.
And now that God has brought me to this unexpected & uncertain place, I know I just have to keep plugging day at a time. It is so overwelming to think about the "what ifs" if The Lone Ranger does not result in a pregnancy. Do we try again knowing we MAY get at most 3 eggs? To think of all that is just so overwelming at this time.
You have no idea how the words you have written after the loss of your baby girl have ministered to my heart so much in this past week. You are so real, honest and devoted to knowing God's plan for your life, even in the midst of terrible circumstances, and that brings so much encouragement to my hurting heart.
We are both deal with very disappointing outcomes, even though our specific circumstances are different. We must both believe that God does have something marvelous planned! I think we both do & I for one can't wait to see what God is going to do in both of our lives.
Continuing to pray for you and I thank you so much for your comments and prayers for me in this past week.

Monika said...

Thanks for your comment on my blog (((hugs))). I really appreciate it!

I love the new blog name! And that Scripture too, how cool. I'm Lutheran, and we believe (this is very simplified) that we are "born again" every single day (which is why we often can't give people a specific date we "got saved" and such). It's a process, and the renewal each morning is a gift from God. The "day by day" Scripture you posted reminded me of that. Thanks!

Jackie said...

Hi Becky, thanks for stopping by my site. I think it is a God thing to get a comment from you as my husband and I have been struggling with Infertility since 2003 and are now taking a small break from trying to conceive after 2 failed rounds of Clomid. We are going to start trying again late this year. I was just invited to a baby showe and am debating whether i will go or just send a gift. I have never been to one and am not sure how I will handle it. You're in my thoughts and prayers!