First, I want to say thank you to everyone who joined us in prayer after my last post, whether you left a comment or not, we so appreciate the prayers, blog comments, emails, and Facebook messages. I could literally feel your prayers and the Lord gave me much peace about everything in spite of the circumstances. I could sense He was at work and would work everything out to His glory.
There was supposed to be a meeting the week after my last post (on March 5th) between the Korean adoption agencies and the Family Court. However, we found out on the evening of March 4th (Korea is 16 hours ahead of us), that the meeting was cancelled and two of the three judges were replaced and a fourth judge was added. I went to bed feeling discouraged and defeated. Just a day prior to that, our community group had prayed for us and this meeting. It was one of those Spirit moving, tears being shed times of prayer where you go away just knowing God is at work. I thought that great news would follow after the meeting took place. And then it was cancelled.
The next morning I woke up and was able to have some quiet time with the Lord. Side note here, this was possible because Joshua has been sick and slept until 8am. I don't want to give the impression that I am a super spiritual, super mom who gets up every morning before Joshua wakes up to have my quiet time, though I would love for this to be so. The truth is I have really struggled to have a regular quiet time since becoming a mom. Anyway, I was reading in Exodus and came across these verses:
But Moses told the people, “Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” Exodus 14:13-14
I sensed the Lord telling me that these previous judges were the "Egyptians," that they were not favorably inclined toward international adoption, and that their replacement was an answer to prayer. It was interesting to read the MPAK blog post and see that Steve also felt confident that the issue of the extended stay in Korea would be a "no brainer" for these new judges and that he had a strong sense that the new court would agree to a solution that would require us to be in Korea for only a week.
Well, God has answered!!!!!!!!
We found out today that the new judges have decided that we don't need to appear in Family Court. Our paperwork will go to the court and once we are given approval, we will travel after the VISA is issued just as before, and stay about a week. We weren't told yet whether both parents would be required to travel, but I wouldn't think so since there is no longer a reason it would be necessary. This is a huge answer to prayer!!! I can't imagine having to go to Korea and waiting 14 days before the court decision is final, not knowing whether we will actually bring Jonah home. Plus, John would have had no time at home with Jonah, it would have been incredibly difficult financially, and it would have been potentially very traumatic for Joshua.
I don't believe there has been any change as far as recontacting birth moms, but I have to say that I recently had an opportunity to watch a documentary called "Mercy, Mercy" about adoption from Ethiopia that reframed my thinking on this subject. You can watch it here: http://youtu.be/bTirNtngWTE, but fair warning it is one of the most horrific things I have ever seen. However, it NEEDS to be watched by everyone in the adoption community. This isn't just an isolated case; this is what all too often happens when potential adoptive parents rush in to adopt from a particular country because with them comes large amounts of money. Too often this leads to corruption and the manufacturing of orphans (it happened in Guatemala and now it's happening in Ethiopia). The children in this documentary didn't get a "better life" by being adopted; they belong with their biological parents. Adoption should be about finding families for children who truly NEED a family, not finding children for families who want them. So I look at this situation with Jonah's birth mom as an opportunity to ensure that adoption is truly what she wants for him; it is an opportunity to make sure that his adoption is ethical.
Hopefully, this process will finally begin to move forward. We would appreciate your continued prayers!
Showing posts with label praise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label praise. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Adoption Finalized!!!
On Monday, we went to court to finalize Joshua's adoption, concluding a 3 year long journey.
It was almost exactly three years ago that we arrived in DC heartbroken and yet hopeful, heartbroken because our 2nd (and last) IVF cycle was negative, yet hopeful because even in the midst of that cycle we felt our hearts being pulled toward adoption.
Shortly thereafter we began the adoption process. It was a process fraught with many ups and downs and more heartache and loss; an emotional roller coaster is how I hear it often described. But eventually, it led us to our son.
In many ways this final court date was anticlimactic. We have been a family since Joshua was placed in our arms on September 2nd. We sat at a table, answered a few questions in the affirmative, our social worker gave a positive recommendation, and then the judge spoke and signed the order. No gavel, no traditional looking court room, and yet this day was incredibly meaningful to me. I think it is the finality, the officialness, the FOREVER.
In that moment, Joshua JoonSeo became officially, legally, ours forever. And in that moment, he officially took on our last name.
Pictures from the day:
It was almost exactly three years ago that we arrived in DC heartbroken and yet hopeful, heartbroken because our 2nd (and last) IVF cycle was negative, yet hopeful because even in the midst of that cycle we felt our hearts being pulled toward adoption.
Shortly thereafter we began the adoption process. It was a process fraught with many ups and downs and more heartache and loss; an emotional roller coaster is how I hear it often described. But eventually, it led us to our son.
In many ways this final court date was anticlimactic. We have been a family since Joshua was placed in our arms on September 2nd. We sat at a table, answered a few questions in the affirmative, our social worker gave a positive recommendation, and then the judge spoke and signed the order. No gavel, no traditional looking court room, and yet this day was incredibly meaningful to me. I think it is the finality, the officialness, the FOREVER.
In that moment, Joshua JoonSeo became officially, legally, ours forever. And in that moment, he officially took on our last name.
Pictures from the day:
Getting ready for court with daddy.
Handsome boy!
Outside the courtroom, waiting for our turn to go in.
With the judge after finalization.
"I will sing of the LORD's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations." Psalm 89:1
"Not to us, O LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness." Psalm 115:1
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Our First Easter
We had a wonderful first Easter together as a family. It started out on Palm Sunday with John being baptized. This was an answer to over 8 years of prayer, so it was very emotional for me. The first picture is of him giving his testimony. Joshua didn't like it when someone got dunked, he kept saying no, no, no. :-)
On Wednesday of that week, Joshua had his 1st Easter egg hunt. He wasn't all that into finding the eggs. Then when he discovered that candy was inside he wanted to stop right then and open his egg up to start eating it.
On Saturday, we dyed eggs.
Joshua's first Easter basket:
His favorite part of it - balloons!
After church, we had dinner at our community group leader's house and Joshua had his second Easter egg hunt.
The only family photo we managed to get on Easter, hey at least all three of us are in it.
I couldn't help but think back to past Easter's and remember the sadness we felt over not having children. One occasion particularly stuck out in my mind as I was thinking about these times. We had been invited by a friend to her house for a neighborhood get-together and Easter egg hunt. We were the only couple without children. I thought I could handle it, thought it would even be fun to watch all the kids. But I don't think we were there 10 minutes before I knew it was a huge mistake to have gone. We ended up leaving in a hurry as I struggled to hold back the tears. How different this year was, gloriously different.
I remember another Easter at my dad's church where the pastor preached about God's resurrection power. At the end of the service, he had us write down on a piece of paper where in our lives we needed God's resurrection power. At the time, my sister had just been diagnosed with cancer so of course I wrote that down (and praise God she is now cancer free). But at the last minute just before the cards were collected, I wrote down our infertility. I knew this was the place where I most needed God's power in my life.
I write this with tears streaming down my cheeks in gratitude because indeed God's resurrection power has triumphed. Though barren, He has made me a mother and brought Joshua into our family. Wherever you are on your infertility and/or adoption journey (or any painful situation), know this, the same power that raised Christ from the dead is act work in your situation.
"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come." Ephesians 1:18-21
On Wednesday of that week, Joshua had his 1st Easter egg hunt. He wasn't all that into finding the eggs. Then when he discovered that candy was inside he wanted to stop right then and open his egg up to start eating it.
On Saturday, we dyed eggs.
Joshua's first Easter basket:
His favorite part of it - balloons!
After church, we had dinner at our community group leader's house and Joshua had his second Easter egg hunt.
The only family photo we managed to get on Easter, hey at least all three of us are in it.
I couldn't help but think back to past Easter's and remember the sadness we felt over not having children. One occasion particularly stuck out in my mind as I was thinking about these times. We had been invited by a friend to her house for a neighborhood get-together and Easter egg hunt. We were the only couple without children. I thought I could handle it, thought it would even be fun to watch all the kids. But I don't think we were there 10 minutes before I knew it was a huge mistake to have gone. We ended up leaving in a hurry as I struggled to hold back the tears. How different this year was, gloriously different.
I remember another Easter at my dad's church where the pastor preached about God's resurrection power. At the end of the service, he had us write down on a piece of paper where in our lives we needed God's resurrection power. At the time, my sister had just been diagnosed with cancer so of course I wrote that down (and praise God she is now cancer free). But at the last minute just before the cards were collected, I wrote down our infertility. I knew this was the place where I most needed God's power in my life.
I write this with tears streaming down my cheeks in gratitude because indeed God's resurrection power has triumphed. Though barren, He has made me a mother and brought Joshua into our family. Wherever you are on your infertility and/or adoption journey (or any painful situation), know this, the same power that raised Christ from the dead is act work in your situation.
"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come." Ephesians 1:18-21
Saturday, March 31, 2012
A Morning Date
This morning John and I had a short date, our first with a babysitter for Joshua. In January, when my mom was here we sneaked out for a dinner date after Joshua was in bed. It was wonderful! But we haven't felt ready to try a babysitter.
For the first 4 months home we didn't leave Joshua at all. At 4 months home when we switched churches, we decided to give church nursery a try. I know some people would be of the opinion that this is a little early to leave your child and others have probably already left their child in someone else's care by this point. Obviously, every child is different and everyone has different circumstances. Some people have to return to work. Others, like us, live in a place where they have no family and few friends. Our new church meets in a high school, so it really doesn't have a true cry room, just a space in the back of the auditorium which really only works for little babies. The choice was either continue to miss church as I had been doing to stay with Joshua or give it a try. Spiritually, I felt like I was in desperate need of this time to worship the Lord with my husband. Our church has a number of other adoptive moms and after asking their opinions we decided to go for it. My gut told me Joshua was ready for it, but I was so nervous. In the end, Joshua didn't cry at all. The same can't be said for me. I think he was a little anxious, but no more than any other child his age going to the nursery. The other thing I really watched for was any disturbances in his sleep. I knew if there was an issue it would come out in his sleep, either by lots of wake-ups with crying as it was in the beginning or a night terror. Thankfully, neither occurred. We were also invited to join a small group. One of the coolest things about this group is that every family in the group except one has adopted a child or is in the process of adopting. There are actually two other families with kids from Korea in the group! We meet on Sunday evenings and young lady named Imani from our church watches the kids in the family room while the adults have our study in the front room. It couldn't be a more perfect situation for our family. We are so grateful for the Lord's provision in this because we were so desperate for fellowship with other believers. We are finally feeling connected here in Tucson.
Imani has been watching Joshua on Sunday evenings for almost 3 months now and he has gotten quite comfortable with her. We have had a number of people offer to babysit for us when we were ready, but it was really hard for me to take anyone up on their offer. I just wasn't ready to take the plunge. Finally, last Sunday we ran into Imani after church service. This never has never happened before and it was as if the Lord orchestrated it. I felt His gentle nudge and knew it was time to ask her. She came over this morning and John and I went out for just over 2 hours. This way we would be home in time to put Joshua down for his nap. We went for bagels and coffee which we took to a nearby National Park. We climbed up on some rocks overlooking the park and just ate and talked. Then we went for a drive and stopped by a farmer's market. It was truly wonderful.
It got me thinking though. Sometimes I hear people say to couples dealing with infertility that you just have to enjoy the extra time you have together as a couple, and that is true to a certain extent. But something about that statement has never fully sat well with me. This morning I realized why. It is hard to enjoy that time when there is a huge gaping wound in your heart. That hole is ever present. For us, it was there for such a long time that it is hard to remember a time when it wasn't there. But this morning I got to feel what it feels like to go out with your husband and not have that hole present. And it was glorious.
The Lord has healed my heart and made me a joyful mother (Psalm 113:9). Thank you Lord!
For the first 4 months home we didn't leave Joshua at all. At 4 months home when we switched churches, we decided to give church nursery a try. I know some people would be of the opinion that this is a little early to leave your child and others have probably already left their child in someone else's care by this point. Obviously, every child is different and everyone has different circumstances. Some people have to return to work. Others, like us, live in a place where they have no family and few friends. Our new church meets in a high school, so it really doesn't have a true cry room, just a space in the back of the auditorium which really only works for little babies. The choice was either continue to miss church as I had been doing to stay with Joshua or give it a try. Spiritually, I felt like I was in desperate need of this time to worship the Lord with my husband. Our church has a number of other adoptive moms and after asking their opinions we decided to go for it. My gut told me Joshua was ready for it, but I was so nervous. In the end, Joshua didn't cry at all. The same can't be said for me. I think he was a little anxious, but no more than any other child his age going to the nursery. The other thing I really watched for was any disturbances in his sleep. I knew if there was an issue it would come out in his sleep, either by lots of wake-ups with crying as it was in the beginning or a night terror. Thankfully, neither occurred. We were also invited to join a small group. One of the coolest things about this group is that every family in the group except one has adopted a child or is in the process of adopting. There are actually two other families with kids from Korea in the group! We meet on Sunday evenings and young lady named Imani from our church watches the kids in the family room while the adults have our study in the front room. It couldn't be a more perfect situation for our family. We are so grateful for the Lord's provision in this because we were so desperate for fellowship with other believers. We are finally feeling connected here in Tucson.
Imani has been watching Joshua on Sunday evenings for almost 3 months now and he has gotten quite comfortable with her. We have had a number of people offer to babysit for us when we were ready, but it was really hard for me to take anyone up on their offer. I just wasn't ready to take the plunge. Finally, last Sunday we ran into Imani after church service. This never has never happened before and it was as if the Lord orchestrated it. I felt His gentle nudge and knew it was time to ask her. She came over this morning and John and I went out for just over 2 hours. This way we would be home in time to put Joshua down for his nap. We went for bagels and coffee which we took to a nearby National Park. We climbed up on some rocks overlooking the park and just ate and talked. Then we went for a drive and stopped by a farmer's market. It was truly wonderful.
It got me thinking though. Sometimes I hear people say to couples dealing with infertility that you just have to enjoy the extra time you have together as a couple, and that is true to a certain extent. But something about that statement has never fully sat well with me. This morning I realized why. It is hard to enjoy that time when there is a huge gaping wound in your heart. That hole is ever present. For us, it was there for such a long time that it is hard to remember a time when it wasn't there. But this morning I got to feel what it feels like to go out with your husband and not have that hole present. And it was glorious.
The Lord has healed my heart and made me a joyful mother (Psalm 113:9). Thank you Lord!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Then and Now
The first 3 photos are from October after Joshua had been home for about a month. The last one is from January of this year and is one of my favorite photos. I love it because it shows how far we have come. Often I feel like people want to dismiss the pain and trauma experienced by children in adoption. I feel like there is a tendency for many people to look at the first photos and say well he's just nervous about the swing - it's a normal childhood issue. I am certain it is normal for some children. But not for Joshua. If there is one thing my son loves it is to be swung, and have the sensation of flying through the air or falling. Not only that, but he was a child that by all reports was fearless. We specifically asked his foster mother if there was anything he was afraid of, there was not. I believe with all my heart that fear entered Joshua's life when he went through the trauma of losing his foster family, language, country, culture, and pretty much everything else he was familiar with. And I hate that for him. He has experienced more pain at less than 2 years old than some people experience in a lifetime. I wish I could fix it. But I can't. All I can do is walk beside him through it and pray daily for the Lord to deliver him from fear and heal the broken places in his heart.
By no means is it "all better now" but we've come a long way - praise God!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Our Care Package Arrived - New Pictures!!
We got new photos yesterday of Joshua with the care package we recently sent. These were taken at his 14 month well-baby checkup. This care package was the one I debated about sending since I had just put it together the day we found out we had been submitted for EP. I am so glad I decided to send it since as it turned out we are still waiting on EP approval (7 weeks as of today). This was such an answer to prayer; I really wanted him to have the recordable book with our picture in it and be able to hear our voices. However, as you can see Joshua seemed to have a preference for two of the other items :-)
Okay, I know I am totally bias, but he is just the cutest!!!!! I can not wait to meet him!
While we were in the midst of our move, our agency emailed me to tell me they had received a couple of pictures. Thankfully, I had just emailed them to tell them not to send anything to our old address. I had placed our mail on hold, but we had a ton of problems with our mail delivery (glad I did because they didn't hold our mail). Anyway, they were able to mail them to our new address. I actually don't know when they were taken, only that they appear to have been taken prior to the 13 month photos I posted here. These are the more formal photos that they send off to get developed and so they take longer to arrive. I don't think they are from his 1 year checkup because the update we received didn't say anything about photos. My best guess is that he is 11 months old, but I really don't know. Oh well, I am just happy we received them and so so happy he is smiling in them.
I am so in love!!! And so very thankful we have received so many photos recently. In the beginning, we weren't receiving any and now we have received 3 different sets just in the last couple of months. I feel beyond blessed by this. It was so hard when we weren't receiving anything.
I don't have much of an update to report regarding the delay with EPs that I mentioned in my last post. According to our agency, there is no break in EPs. They did say, however, that the Ministry (Korean government) has "recognized that it may be difficult to make all the issuances by the end of June 2011." Our agency has a more conservative estimate for EP approval and passport issuance of 4-8 weeks. Maybe this is why our agency made no announcement about all of this, while other agencies had to call their families to let them know that EP wouldn't happen until July. We were submitted on May 12th, so 8 weeks would be July 7th, though we may not be notified until the following week. Once we get EP approval and passport, we have about 3 weeks until travel call. I am actually grateful we had to move; I think I would be going crazy right now if I hadn't had so much to keep me busy. I am hoping for good news soon!
Okay, I know I am totally bias, but he is just the cutest!!!!! I can not wait to meet him!
While we were in the midst of our move, our agency emailed me to tell me they had received a couple of pictures. Thankfully, I had just emailed them to tell them not to send anything to our old address. I had placed our mail on hold, but we had a ton of problems with our mail delivery (glad I did because they didn't hold our mail). Anyway, they were able to mail them to our new address. I actually don't know when they were taken, only that they appear to have been taken prior to the 13 month photos I posted here. These are the more formal photos that they send off to get developed and so they take longer to arrive. I don't think they are from his 1 year checkup because the update we received didn't say anything about photos. My best guess is that he is 11 months old, but I really don't know. Oh well, I am just happy we received them and so so happy he is smiling in them.
I am so in love!!! And so very thankful we have received so many photos recently. In the beginning, we weren't receiving any and now we have received 3 different sets just in the last couple of months. I feel beyond blessed by this. It was so hard when we weren't receiving anything.
I don't have much of an update to report regarding the delay with EPs that I mentioned in my last post. According to our agency, there is no break in EPs. They did say, however, that the Ministry (Korean government) has "recognized that it may be difficult to make all the issuances by the end of June 2011." Our agency has a more conservative estimate for EP approval and passport issuance of 4-8 weeks. Maybe this is why our agency made no announcement about all of this, while other agencies had to call their families to let them know that EP wouldn't happen until July. We were submitted on May 12th, so 8 weeks would be July 7th, though we may not be notified until the following week. Once we get EP approval and passport, we have about 3 weeks until travel call. I am actually grateful we had to move; I think I would be going crazy right now if I hadn't had so much to keep me busy. I am hoping for good news soon!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
We have a Referral!!!!!!!
Introducing.......
Our son Joshua JoonSeo
Joshua - Means "YAHWEH is salvation" or "The LORD saves"
JoonSeo - Means "Bright" and "Benevolent"
JoonSeo - Means "Bright" and "Benevolent"
Psalm 113
Praise the LORD.
Praise, O servants of the LORD,
praise the name of the LORD.
Praise, O servants of the LORD,
praise the name of the LORD.
Let the name of the LORD be praised,
both now and forevermore.
both now and forevermore.
From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets,
the name of the LORD is to be praised.
the name of the LORD is to be praised.
The LORD is exalted over all the nations,
his glory above the heavens.
his glory above the heavens.
Who is like the LORD our God,
the One who sits enthroned on high,
the One who sits enthroned on high,
who stoops down to look
on the heavens and the earth?
on the heavens and the earth?
He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
he seats them with princes,
with the princes of their people.
with the princes of their people.
He settles the barren woman in her home
as a happy mother of children.
as a happy mother of children.
Praise the LORD.
We got the call on August 30th after waiting only 5 months. After getting the information medically reviewed (required by our agency) and then waiting for some missing test results, we officially accepted the referral last Friday September 17th! I was able to share the news with my family that evening. This past week has been super busy as I have prepared the acceptance paperwork and took photos of our house to send to our agency. Everything should be sent off by the end of this week!
We are so excited!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Worshipful Wednesday #5 - "Immeasurably More"
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Eph 3: 20-21This has been one of my favorite verses throughout my struggle with infertility/childlessness. I love this reminder that the Lord is able to do immeasurably more than all I could ask or imagine. I believe this and I have witnessed it specific to infertility in the lives of the many of the ladies on my blog list. Check them out if you are looking for some encouragement and a reminder of what the Lord is able to do.
But today I want to praise God for an area of my life where He has already done "immeasurably more" than I could have imagined. On Sunday, as I was sitting beside my husband, feeling his shoulder against mine, singing "Majesty" I was overcome with the thought of how blessed I am to have him beside me. This verse came to mind as I realized how God gave me a husband who is "immeasurably more" than I asked or imagined was possible. Shortly after committing my life to the Lord in March of 2002, I began to ask God for a husband. Quite honestly, it was a prayer I thought I would be praying for a while. But only 2 months later, John and I had our first date and I knew I had met the man I would marry. But even then I had no idea how greatly God had blessed me. As I have seen John grow in his faith becoming a godly man who loves the Lord, I have been overwhelmed by God's grace and mercy to me.
Thank you Jesus for your goodness and mercy.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Amazing Answer to Prayer!
This past Friday, we had to meet with our social worker one last time. She just needed to clarify a detail with our home study. She also told us she was able to make contact with all our references and they were all "glowing" (glad to know our friends like us!). Then she gave us fantastic news that was a major answer to prayer. I wrote here about our concern regarding our move in summer of 2011 since Korea has recently become more restrictive of families moving during the adoption process. Our social worker contacted the Korea program coordinator in the Minnesota office, who contacted Eastern (the adoption agency in Korea), and explained the situation with military families to them. She let them know that we have NO choice about moving. Well praise God, Korea has given our agency permission to place children with military families no matter where we are stationed next as long as it is in the Continental US! This is not just for us, this applies to other military families who may adopt through them in the future. But I really sensed God's hand in this. This is a huge blessing!
In other news, it is out with the old and in with the new. The old being John's 2 door manual transmission Honda civic and the new being my new Hyundai Elantra Touring in black, with an automatic transmission. An automatic is a major plus in Washington, DC traffic! This is the first car we have bought together since we have been married. John was able to sell his car to one of his classmates which made for a very stress-free transaction. The new car is not exactly a mini-van, but it is definitely more family friendly.
We had a great weekend. On Friday, John and I had a date night and went to see the Terra Cotta Warriors at the National Geographic museum. They were amazing. Saturday, I got together with a couple friends to sign Easter cards and put together packages for some of the refugees from North Korea that are here in the U.S. Many of them are very lonely and completely cut off from their families in North Korea. Saturday we watched some movies (Netflix - love it!) and Sunday we went to church, and then did some studying (John - schoolwork, me - Perspectives).
Lastly, I wanted to thank those who left questions on my last post. I have responded to all of them on their blogs or through email, but I am happy to answer them or any other questions in an upcoming post if it could be helpful to anyone. Just let me know - I am always happy to answer questions.
In other news, it is out with the old and in with the new. The old being John's 2 door manual transmission Honda civic and the new being my new Hyundai Elantra Touring in black, with an automatic transmission. An automatic is a major plus in Washington, DC traffic! This is the first car we have bought together since we have been married. John was able to sell his car to one of his classmates which made for a very stress-free transaction. The new car is not exactly a mini-van, but it is definitely more family friendly.
We had a great weekend. On Friday, John and I had a date night and went to see the Terra Cotta Warriors at the National Geographic museum. They were amazing. Saturday, I got together with a couple friends to sign Easter cards and put together packages for some of the refugees from North Korea that are here in the U.S. Many of them are very lonely and completely cut off from their families in North Korea. Saturday we watched some movies (Netflix - love it!) and Sunday we went to church, and then did some studying (John - schoolwork, me - Perspectives).
Lastly, I wanted to thank those who left questions on my last post. I have responded to all of them on their blogs or through email, but I am happy to answer them or any other questions in an upcoming post if it could be helpful to anyone. Just let me know - I am always happy to answer questions.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Home Study Interview (and my 100th post!)
Thank you for all the prayers and words of encouragement this morning. We could definitely feel your prayers for us. I think things went really well. This was our joint interview and it lasted for about 3 hours. We covered a wide range of topics: why we want to adopt, infertility history, transracial adoption, what age group and what special needs we are open to, how we met, our marriage relationship, our finances, our neighborhood and community, our religious beliefs, our parenting philosophy, discipline, values we want to teach our child, support systems, our families feelings about us adopting in general and about us adopting transracially specifically, etc.
There wasn't anything she came across as concerned about. And she spoke about "when" we go on the wait list, not "if," so that was a good sign. I was really happy, but mentally exhausted afterward. It also happens to be the first day of my cycle so I think that it part of why I was so tired. In addition, I had been working really hard to complete our transracial, transcultural, and older child parenting plans over these last several nights.
We got home a little after one and I called my boss to see if she really needed me at work because I was so spent. By the time I would have gotten to work we would of had only about an hour to work together before she would have to leave so it made sense for me to just take the rest of the day off. I ate lunch, checked my blog and email, and then took a nap.
The other great news is that we are having our individual interviews and home visit next Wednesday, March 10th at 3 PM!!!
You know what I will be doing this weekend! I know our house doesn't have to be perfect, but 5 loads of unfolded laundry probably won't make the best impression :)
There wasn't anything she came across as concerned about. And she spoke about "when" we go on the wait list, not "if," so that was a good sign. I was really happy, but mentally exhausted afterward. It also happens to be the first day of my cycle so I think that it part of why I was so tired. In addition, I had been working really hard to complete our transracial, transcultural, and older child parenting plans over these last several nights.
We got home a little after one and I called my boss to see if she really needed me at work because I was so spent. By the time I would have gotten to work we would of had only about an hour to work together before she would have to leave so it made sense for me to just take the rest of the day off. I ate lunch, checked my blog and email, and then took a nap.
The other great news is that we are having our individual interviews and home visit next Wednesday, March 10th at 3 PM!!!
You know what I will be doing this weekend! I know our house doesn't have to be perfect, but 5 loads of unfolded laundry probably won't make the best impression :)
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The Form Arrived!!!
Wonderful news to share! We got the letter in the mail today from our adoption agency. They finally received the form from the state of Maryland! Pretty timely after yesterday's post. God has definitely been at work. Thank you all so much for your prayers, comments, and emails of encouragement.
We have to send in our payment for the home study and then a social worker will be assigned to us. The letter said we should have also received an invoice for our home study fee, but we haven't gotten it yet. We will wait to see if it is in the mail tomorrow and then call if it isn't. Their office is only about 2 miles or so from our house so I can go and make the payment in person and not lose any time if need be. The letter also said we should hear from our social worker within 2 weeks of making our payment. Next step will be our interviews and home visit.
Now we have a few more forms to fill out before we have our first interview with our social worker: Cultural worksheet (our cultural history, exposure to other cultures, etc), transracial parenting plan (what we will do to incorporate our child's culture into our lives), health background checklist (what special needs we are okay with or will consider), and older child worksheet (awareness of issues and plans to help a child over 12 months of age transition to our home). No, the paperwork is not over yet! But I know it will all be worth it in the end.
We have to send in our payment for the home study and then a social worker will be assigned to us. The letter said we should have also received an invoice for our home study fee, but we haven't gotten it yet. We will wait to see if it is in the mail tomorrow and then call if it isn't. Their office is only about 2 miles or so from our house so I can go and make the payment in person and not lose any time if need be. The letter also said we should hear from our social worker within 2 weeks of making our payment. Next step will be our interviews and home visit.
Now we have a few more forms to fill out before we have our first interview with our social worker: Cultural worksheet (our cultural history, exposure to other cultures, etc), transracial parenting plan (what we will do to incorporate our child's culture into our lives), health background checklist (what special needs we are okay with or will consider), and older child worksheet (awareness of issues and plans to help a child over 12 months of age transition to our home). No, the paperwork is not over yet! But I know it will all be worth it in the end.
Monday, September 28, 2009
What I Have Learned From Infertility
Last week, Lisa had a great post on why she is thankful for infertility. After my previous post on Psalm 127, I had been thinking that the few things I had mentioned learning from infertility really didn't even begin to do justice to all the Lord has taught me through this trial. Also, I didn't want to give the wrong impression that because that post was about trusting and believing that God will "build our house"that I am only focused on the child which hopefully awaits. So I had been thinking about writing a post about all I had learned from infertility and then I see Lisa's post and felt like it was the Lord prompting me to write this. The thing is it is so easy to forget and I don't want to forget all the Lord has taught me. I didn't start blogging until I was in the midst of an IVF cycle, then I was pregnant, and then I miscarried. After which we did a second cycle and then moved. In the midst of all this there was much I didn't write about. Many posts have been written in my head, but never written here and so right now there is too much left unsaid. Even if no one else reads it, I want to have these things recorded for me to look back on. Of course, I hope it will encourage others. Some of what I have learned is a direct result of infertility/pregnancy loss and some was learned through experiences I would likely not have been able to have had I been a busy mother. I think many of these deserve their own separate post and so I am hoping to list them all here and then do separate posts for the ones I want to write more about. So here is my list:
1) When John and I had to be separated due to military service for a little over a year, I had one of the most difficult times in my life, but it was also a life changing experience (perhaps this wouldn't have even happened if we had conceived right away prior to John joining the Air Force). I ended up living with my cousin and becoming part of the small group she led at her house. This was my first experience with Christian fellowship and it changed my life forever. I learned so much about the Lord and it was at this time that I became "sold out" for the Lord. However, John did not have the same experience during this time and so when we reunited we were on different pages spiritually. If we had conceived at this time, we may have remained so because we may not have been able to take part in the Alpha course where John grew immensely. He even ended up facilitating a discussion group and then leading an Alpha course follow up group. I got to see my husband grow into an amazing man of God and I got the opportunity to serve along side of him - an answer to my prayers.
2) I got to study Romans when I first got to Florida at a ladies Bible study that didn't offer child care - another life changing experience. Romans is one of my favorite books of the Bible - it presents the gospel so clearly. There is no one righteous, not even one, it is all about His grace. We can only respond in humility.
3) God's plans are better than my own - I learned this as God brought us from the Alpha course and into the small group He had planned for us. I had another plan in mind, but God showed me His ways are higher than mine. I don't know what I would have done if we hadn't had our small group when we lost Johannah. Because of this small group, I met Monica, my crisis care counselor who saw me through an amazing time of healing, not just from losing Johannah, but also from past hurts.
4) Learning about God's perfect plan through the Alpha course and through a study of Matthew (same Bible study where they didn't offer child care) taught me about surrendering to God's will for my life. I began to learn to give up trying to control and began to trust.
5) As we began to pursue infertility treatment, the Lord taught me the truth of Proverbs 19:21, "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." It was not in my control. I had to trust Him with the outcome.
6) During my first IVF cycle, I learned what it meant to take one day at a time and fix my eyes on Jesus. I learned God gives "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow."
7) I learned to praise God no matter what because He is worthy of all praise, honor, and glory.
8) I found hope.
9) I came to know of God's goodness and His love for me.
10) If you don't know He is good and that He loves you, you can't trust Him. You have to know Him to trust Him. I have come to trust Him.
11) I learned what the joy of our salvation is in my darkest hour.
12) God's ways are not my ways, neither are His thoughts my thoughts. We don't always understand why things happen.
13) I came to understand God remembers my sin no more and became truly free of my past.
14) Recently, I have been learning what it means to depend upon the Lord each day, asking Him for the grace and strength for the day.
15) I have learned so much about prayer, about having a genuine prayer life where I "pour out my heart to God." My prayer life is much deeper as a result.
16) I have become a more loving, compassionate person.
17) I have learned to wait upon the Lord, surrendering to His perfect way and timing.
18) Brokenness - I can now say not my will, but thy will be done and really mean it and desire it.
19) I appreciate the blessings in my life, like my husband, so much more. And we have grown closer together through all we have been through.
20) I believe in miracles and I have come to have faith that the Lord is able to do immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine.
Despite the pain and hurt of infertility and pregnancy loss, I have much to be thankful for - the Lord has truly worked infertility for my good. Thanks Lisa for encouraging others to do this - I am so glad I did.
1) When John and I had to be separated due to military service for a little over a year, I had one of the most difficult times in my life, but it was also a life changing experience (perhaps this wouldn't have even happened if we had conceived right away prior to John joining the Air Force). I ended up living with my cousin and becoming part of the small group she led at her house. This was my first experience with Christian fellowship and it changed my life forever. I learned so much about the Lord and it was at this time that I became "sold out" for the Lord. However, John did not have the same experience during this time and so when we reunited we were on different pages spiritually. If we had conceived at this time, we may have remained so because we may not have been able to take part in the Alpha course where John grew immensely. He even ended up facilitating a discussion group and then leading an Alpha course follow up group. I got to see my husband grow into an amazing man of God and I got the opportunity to serve along side of him - an answer to my prayers.
2) I got to study Romans when I first got to Florida at a ladies Bible study that didn't offer child care - another life changing experience. Romans is one of my favorite books of the Bible - it presents the gospel so clearly. There is no one righteous, not even one, it is all about His grace. We can only respond in humility.
3) God's plans are better than my own - I learned this as God brought us from the Alpha course and into the small group He had planned for us. I had another plan in mind, but God showed me His ways are higher than mine. I don't know what I would have done if we hadn't had our small group when we lost Johannah. Because of this small group, I met Monica, my crisis care counselor who saw me through an amazing time of healing, not just from losing Johannah, but also from past hurts.
4) Learning about God's perfect plan through the Alpha course and through a study of Matthew (same Bible study where they didn't offer child care) taught me about surrendering to God's will for my life. I began to learn to give up trying to control and began to trust.
5) As we began to pursue infertility treatment, the Lord taught me the truth of Proverbs 19:21, "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." It was not in my control. I had to trust Him with the outcome.
6) During my first IVF cycle, I learned what it meant to take one day at a time and fix my eyes on Jesus. I learned God gives "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow."
7) I learned to praise God no matter what because He is worthy of all praise, honor, and glory.
8) I found hope.
9) I came to know of God's goodness and His love for me.
10) If you don't know He is good and that He loves you, you can't trust Him. You have to know Him to trust Him. I have come to trust Him.
11) I learned what the joy of our salvation is in my darkest hour.
12) God's ways are not my ways, neither are His thoughts my thoughts. We don't always understand why things happen.
13) I came to understand God remembers my sin no more and became truly free of my past.
14) Recently, I have been learning what it means to depend upon the Lord each day, asking Him for the grace and strength for the day.
15) I have learned so much about prayer, about having a genuine prayer life where I "pour out my heart to God." My prayer life is much deeper as a result.
16) I have become a more loving, compassionate person.
17) I have learned to wait upon the Lord, surrendering to His perfect way and timing.
18) Brokenness - I can now say not my will, but thy will be done and really mean it and desire it.
19) I appreciate the blessings in my life, like my husband, so much more. And we have grown closer together through all we have been through.
20) I believe in miracles and I have come to have faith that the Lord is able to do immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine.
Despite the pain and hurt of infertility and pregnancy loss, I have much to be thankful for - the Lord has truly worked infertility for my good. Thanks Lisa for encouraging others to do this - I am so glad I did.
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