First Half Marathon

Sorry it has taken so long for me to post some pics from the race. I forgot my camera so I had to wait to get some pictures off of my teammate's Facebook page. The race went great and was so much fun! I was able to meet my goal of jogging the whole way without stopping to walk. I finished in just under 2 hours and 45 minutes, so not fast at all, but I was happy with it. Here are a few pics:

Our hotel

With my teammate Rya at the hotel on race morning

With Rya and our mentor Laurie

The Maryland R 'n' R TNT team

The Start Line! It took over 30 minutes to reach it from my starting gate.

I ran in honor of my sister Debbie and our honored teammate Al, and in memory of my teammate's son Ben

For Debbie

Showing off our purple nails

Had to get a picture with Elvis

My teammate Ann - notice she also wrote my sister's name on her visor

Somewhere during mile 13 - almost done!

Showing off our medals (everybody gets one!)

Proof I really did it!!!

 I am planning on signing up for other races in the future. At this point, I don't have any plans of trying to tackle a marathon - half was perfect for me! My next event is the Army 10-miler in October.

I want to say thank you again for all the support and generosity. The National Capital Area Fall Team in Training team has raised over a million dollars towards life saving research and patient services! Thank you for being a part of it! Go Team!

Race Day!

Well the day has finally arrived. I will be running 13.1 miles today in Virginia Beach!

I want to express my thanks for all the love and support I have received on this journey. I have been amazed by the generosity of so many who have donated. I exceeded my minimum fundraising requirement and have reached 85% of my personal goal. I know those who have been affected by cancer are especially appreciative of the support. I have gotten to hear a number of stories from survivors, in addition to my sister, who have all expressed how much the support means to them. I think more than anything, it helps them know people care.

I have also been just as appreciative of the words of encouragement I have received as they have given me strength to continue onward.

John was able to find a last minute hotel room at a military base fairly nearby so he is going to be able to come and cheer me on. We are planning on heading back to DC after the race today since we couldn't get a hotel room in Virginia Beach for both of us (Team in Training took care of my room for Saturday night and I stayed there since I had to be up early today).

I will be running in honor of my sister Debbie and in memory of my teammate's son Ben who lost his battle with cancer at the age of 12 one year ago this weekend.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Labor Day weekend!

Beginning to Heal

I had a wonderful visit with Wendi. It did my heart good to visit with her and her hubby and kids. While we share a struggle with infertility; our connection goes way beyond infertility and I have been so blessed by her friendship. She has been gone for a little over a week now.

The visit was good for me in another way also. For a few days, I got to go to the playground at the end of my street; I had little boys rolling their cars on my table (Wendi, I have found 2 so far!), and the movie Cars on the DVD player. We have been waiting to be parents for so long that sometimes I worry that I will not know how to be a mom when the times comes. The world of playgrounds and playdates is so far removed from my life right now that I often wonder how I will transition. This is especially true for me here in the DC area because most of my friends here are single without children and so I am rarely ever exposed to moms with kids. There are times when that makes things easier (less painful), but at the same time, I don’t think this is entirely good for me. I worry I will be completely clueless since I am not around a lot of moms like most women my age. Time with Wendi and her boys helped me see that I will do just fine when the time comes. Certainly, there is much I will have to learn, but I think that is the case for any new mom. I think the visit also helped to open my heart and enable me to see myself as a mom-to-be. I love being around kids (especially toddlers) and it is good to know this hasn’t changed.

I have also been doing much better as far as “letting go.” This month’s cycle did not bring the grief the previous ones had. In fact, I was able to immediately think about the fact that every time I start, it means we get to meet our son (or possibly daughter) in Korea. Recently, our adoption agency reiterated the pregnancy policy of the agency in Korea. Basically, if you get pregnant you lose your referral. I think this is absolutely helping me to think about things differently. I know this will be difficult for many people to understand, but I would be devastated if we lost our referral (no we haven't gotten one yet!), even if it meant pregnancy happened.

As part of this change, I am really making a point to force myself to interact with new moms and pregnant ladies if the opportunity arises. Normally, I would just ignore or avoid them, but I think it is important for the healing process to no longer do this.

By the way, this has never been the case for me with women I have formed a connection with through blogging. I have always been able to read pregnancy blogs if it is someone I have already been reading and praying for. I wanted those of you who have recently announced pregnancies (Lisa and Hannah), and Stacey (due in September) that I am not avoiding your blogs. I have been a terrible blogger lately and really haven’t been commenting on anyone’s blog (mostly due to lack of time and somewhat due to lack of energy – half marathon training has been wiping me out). I continue to rejoice in what God has done in your lives and pray for healthy pregnancies. Just wanted you guys to know this. I had to write this post during lunch at work on Thursday and am just now finishing it to post it.

In adoption news, we received a notice that the “FBI was unable to process” John’s fingerprints for our I600a immigration application. Really? They only have 2 sets from previous background checks. He only has a secret security clearance as a military officer. Okay, I’m done now :) They gave him a new appointment, but it is when we will be in Hawaii. I emailed our agency and they didn’t seem too concerned about it, but I would love prayers for him to receive a new appointment very soon. John has to go away for 10 weeks in the fall for clinical training, so we are hoping for an appointment before he leaves.

Speaking of this, I realized that John may not be right there with me when we get our referral (he will be in FL). I feel like this is almost the equivalent of him missing the birth of our child, the equivalent being if he couldn’t go to Korea with me for some reason. With the military, these types of things are always possibilities. There are many guys in Iraq and Afghanistan missing the births of their first children and even the first years of their children’s lives. We will just have to figure out how we can make it special for us in a different way.

I am off to dinner with my dad - he is in town for business. He is bringing his co-worker who adopted from China so that should make for some great conversation. Tomorrow I am taking part in a yard sale fundraiser for Team in Training. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Poor Little Pooch

While I was away last week for work, Annie had a bit of a run-in with a Saint Bernard while on a walk with John. You can see who came out ahead. The other dog got loose from its owner and went after Annie. Thankfully she  is okay. The vet cleaned out the wound and gave her a shot of antibiotic. She is on antibiotics to prevent infection and seems to be healing fine. The dog's owner was nice enough to pay the vet bill. They had recently gotten her from a shelter so they are not sure what triggered her to go after Annie, but they think she had been used to hunt in the past so maybe that was it.

In other news, I am by myself this week while John is out at a field exercise called Bushmaster (he left this morning). That means five nights by myself. I am such a baby when he's gone. I usually repeat Psalm 4:8 about a million times (possibly a slight exaggeration) at night when I am trying to get to sleep.

"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety."

 Last night we ordered Chinese and watched the movie Green Zone. It was pretty good, definitely more of a guy movie. I was just glad to be able to spend some time with John before he left so I really didn't care what we watched.

Today I took part in a bake sale fundraiser for my half marathon training with Team in Training. There were 4 other participants so we will split the money 5 ways. There were definitely some generous people when I was there, so hopefully we did pretty well.

Afterward I went bathing suit shopping :(

Never fun, but I think I managed to find something that was cute and not too revealing. It was on sale at Macy's, but it was still more than I have ever paid for a bathing suit. Of course, it will be totally worth it for Hawaii! I can't wait.

As you can see, I changed my blog background. I was getting tired of the pink. I would really love a new blog design, especially a header with pictures. For the rest of the blog and the background I want to keep it simple. Unfortunately, I don't know how to design a header. I think you need Photoshop? I have been debating about paying someone, but we'll see.

Hawaii Honeymoon Booked! (and a few other updates)

1) Thank you to everyone who prayed for our waiting families meeting at our adoption agency. I really appreciated all the encouraging comments. I apologize for not posting about it sooner - I really just haven't been up to writing these last couple of weeks. It is a combination of things - being busier because John has more time now for us to do things together, being more tired because of my half marathon training, and lastly, and I think the main reason is, I have just been a little down lately. So anyway the meeting went well. I was able to connect with one person after the meeting and exchange emails so hopefully we can stay in contact. The meeting was somewhat what I expected and somewhat not. I expected them to give us information about the recent delay in the Korea program which they did. We also got to hear from two sets of adoptive parents who recently brought home their children. Their children were the age that our children will be when we go pick them up. I think that was done intentionally by our agency to make sure we were mentally prepared for parenting an 18 month old child and not a one year old. I think they wanted to make sure our expectations were realistic. What I wasn't expecting for some reason was how angry some of the parents were regarding the delay. Overall I guess John and I are actually handling things pretty well. This delay is absolutely agonizing for parents who already had referrals who have now found out they won't be bringing their children home for a while longer. What was interesting to me though was that those of us who had a history of infertility seemed to be doing much better than those who had not. I guess we are use to things not working out the way we want them to (and I don't mean this in an entirely negative way). We realize we are not in control of any of it.

2) Our Hawaii Honeymoon is booked!!!!!!!  We are finally going on our long awaited honeymoon and I can't wait. Six and half years late, but truthfully it couldn't come at a better time for  us. We are staying at the Hale Koa Hotel on Waikiki Beach. It is an amazing hotel that is only for military members and their dependents.

3) Marathon training is going well, but this heat is no fun. I am up to 8 miles this weekend. I have definitely toned up, but unfortunately the scale hasn't budged :(

4 ) In adoption news, we filed our I600A and got fingerprint appointments. Unfortunately, John's is not at the best time, but they don't even give you a telephone number to call and reschedule. You have to send in your letter to your local office and request a new appointment. I assume they just assign you a new date and time regardless of whether it will work for you. John decided he would rather just put in extra hours on other clinical days (he will be doing obstetrics) and go to the appointment.

5) At work the other day, I got to take a private guided tour of the new National Intrepid Center of Excellence. It is truly the most amazing facility. On a beautiful marble wall when you first walk in, it states that the facility is a place to heal the invisible wounds of war and is given by the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund and the American people. I stood there with tears in my eyes reading it and I just felt so proud that our nation is honoring our service men and women in this way. I hope that this facility will in some way help those who go there to know how much their service and sacrifice is appreciated.

6) Tomorrow I am traveling to Ft Bragg, NC for work. I am bringing my computer so hopefully I can spend some more time blogging. I miss this community when I don't write. I realize more and more how much I need this.

I'm Still Here

Has it really been 2 weeks since I last updated! Sorry I have been MIA. It has definitely been a busy last couple of weeks. I have a lot of catching up to do! I am planning on picking back up with "Worshipful Wednesday" next week.

In my last post I mentioned I wouldn't be able to blog because John was on a break from school, which was true, but one of the other reasons was because I was planning a surprise birthday dinner party along with another friend for my cousin Sarah (the weekend of the 15th). We decorated my sun room with white lights, flowers, and tons of candles. I think it looked really beautiful and she was totally surprised.

On Sunday after church John and I went to the air show at Andrew's Air Force Base along with one of my friends. It gets me every time they pass super close to each other, like in this video I took.



After the air show we went and ate Korean Chinese food, we had Jajangmyeon. So good! I wish I had taken some pictures (like my friend Joia does).

On Monday, I went to dinner with my cousin on her actual birthday.

After that John and I did some catching up. We really needed it. During this break I realized how hard this past year has been on our relationship. I have had to accept that he is not available to spend time together as much as I would like, but after point you almost get use to it. So during this break, we really had to re-integrate. It made me think about what it will be like when John gets deployed (not that what I am experiencing even compares to deployment). What many people don't realize is that the re-integration period after the deployment is over can be almost as hard as the deployment itself.

On Wednesday we went and saw the movie Robin Hood. It was okay, I would say don't waste your money seeing it in the theater, wait for it on video. Also, as a word of warning, there are some fairly cruel remarks made by the king (who is the "bad guy") about his "barren" wife.

I had my first official training run with Team in Training this past Saturday - 3 miles on the track so that we could get an idea of our pace. I am really slow right now, just under 12 minutes per mile, which is to be expected I suppose considering how sporadic I have been about exercising over this past year. I am hoping to improve to be able to run at about 11 minutes per mile for the 13.1 miles. My goal is really just to finish without walking. I have to admit I have been pretty sore since starting this. Since I signed up pretty late in the process, I wasn't able to do many pre-training runs so I am easing myself into it right now. However, I made the mistake of doing my first two runs (prior to Saturday) in old shoes so unfortunately I have been dealing with a bit of plantar fasciatis already. I had to do the elliptical in place of running for two of my workouts. I got new shoes before the run on Saturday, which seemed to help a lot. I am still doing lot of massages (with golf ball believe it or not), stretches, and ice. I am really hoping I will not end up with an injury that keeps me from running the race.

The of this past weekend was a pretty lazy one, especially since it was cloudy and rainy. Went to church, took naps, and I finally watched the movie, The Kite Runner, which I would highly recommend.

John is back in school and already has a test this Friday and another one next Friday. Only one more year to go.

I finally have some adoption news to update about. Even though we were approved 2 months ago today, we hadn't received a copy of our home study until today. Our social worker is a social work intern in addition to working as a program coordinator at our adoption agency. So between her regular work, the work she is doing as an intern, and some family problems she experienced, I think she has been completely overloaded. So it took her 2 months to finish writing up our home study. I was actually okay with it, but I could tell she felt really bad. She sent us a draft today for us to make any necessary corrections. She also said that after consulting with her supervisor she felt that we would best be served by transferring us to a full time social worker. I am a little disappointed because I really liked her. And to be truthful it makes me a little nervous. I have irrational fears about our new social worker looking at our file, and saying "Are you crazy, you approved THESE people!" I know this probably won't happen, but I think these types of feelings are fairly common in the adoption process.

Anyway, that's all for now. I am looking forward to spending some time catching up with all of my blogging friends this weekend. These last couple of weeks have brought some great joy and some great sorrow. So I am both rejoicing and mourning (Rom 12:15).

"Waiting Time" not "Wasted Time"

Since getting the unexpected news that we will be waiting longer to adopt from Korea than we originally expected, I have been thinking a lot about how I want to use this time. I knew almost immediately after getting the news that I had to use this time in a positive way. I could choose to sit around and wallow in my sorrows or I could do some things I have always wanted to do. I don't want this "waiting time" to be "wasted time." I have to live the life I have, not put my life on hold until I have the life I want. And so I began to think about some things I would like to do.

The first thing on my list is to take an official and very long overdue honeymoon with my husband. He was in school when we got married, taking one of the prerequisites for his nursing degree, so we only got to have a long weekend away. After he was done with nursing school, he joined the Air Force, and then we were geographically separated for 15 months, and then infertility. We have had lots of weekends away by ourselves and other trips to visit family, but we have never gone on a week long trip with just the two of us. I feel like this is our last shot to take a real honeymoon. I should have enough leave saved up by December so the plan is take a trip over John's Christmas break. Location to be decided. I am definitely open for suggestions.

The second thing on my list is visiting my friend Wendi in Turkey. Her husband is a physician in the clinic where John was a nurse when we were stationed at Eglin. We initially bonded over our shared struggle with infertility, but she quickly became one of my closest friends. She has been such an amazing friend to me, always giving support and encouragement just when I need it. She and her husband, along with their two little miracles, are being assigned to Incirlik Air Base in Turkey this summer. Even before getting the news about the adoption delay, we had talked about having a "kill the time until the little one comes party" in Turkey. But I was wondering how it would work out time wise because "the call" to travel to Korea could have come when I was there. Now that won't be an issue. I am planning on leaving my job 2-3 months before we move to our next assignment, which will be next spring. So the plan is to go at that time. I can't wait! I have actually never traveled outside of the U.S.

The next thing on my list (and I promise this is the last travel related one!) is to go on a short term mission trip. I am praying for God's leading on this one. My heart has been touched by God for East Asia, but I am open to whatever opportunity He presents.

I mentioned that I had an information meeting last night in my previous post. It was for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Team in Training. I am going to be training to run a half marathon! And of course also raising funds and supporting The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I have never said a lot about this before on my blog, but in early 2008, my family received the devastating news that my sister had Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I called her last night to tell her about this before telling anyone else. I could tell she was really excited about it and it meant a lot to her. She is now over 18 months cancer free, praise God! Training for a marathon has been something I have wanted to do for a very long time. So after last week, I said why not now. And why not do it and at the same time raise money for a disease that has touched my family and so many others. I am starting with a half marathon and hopefully I can work up to a marathon and a triathlon later. I am going the run the Rock 'n' Roll Virginia Beach half marathon (13.1 miles) on September 5th. The kick off event is next Saturday morning and then training starts after that. I am going to try and start pre-training this week. Believe me, I need it. I have been so sporadic in my exercising since starting back to work.

Other things on my list are to go horseback riding, which I haven't done since I was a child and take advantage of all Washington, DC has to offer as far as museums and shows. I really want to go see a show or concert at Wolftrap.

Tomorrow John and I are heading to Richmond for an overnight trip. This is partly to give us a chance to reconnect after his very difficult school semester and partly to celebrate our "family of two" (love this Stacey) instead of dwelling on what we don't have. We try to plan something fun to do together on Mother's Day because it is such a difficult time of year for me.

I hope you all have a great weekend! I am praying for you my friends. For those of you celebrating your first Mother's Day as a mom, I hope it is a joyous celebration for you!