John and I began dating in May of 2002. We were living outside of Washington, DC at the time. I was in the army and he was working as a civilian contractor where I was stationed. We got engaged six months later and married a year after that. After a little over a year of marriage, we began trying to have a baby, that was in January of 2005. In August, John joined the Air Force and was sent to Florida. I still had a little over a year left on my contract with the army so I had to stay in DC. Since we had not been able to try for at least a year before this separation, and then because of the separation, we were unsure if there was a problem. However, I remember being very concerned that there was one. It seemed like everyone else I knew got pregnant very quickly. Once we were reunited in October of 2006, the doctors wanted us to try for a little while longer so that we could have at least one year of trying. By June/July of 2007, we still had not conceived so we decided to go in for tests. Our doctor did identify one issue, but she did not explain anything to us about it. We thought it would resolve itself, we had no idea of the seriousness of our problem. I guess we were in major denial. We waited a while longer, then had some more tests (SA, HSG, pelvic u/s) which showed only the same problem as the previous tests, so then more denial. Finally, one night while searching the Internet, I came across some really good information on our particular issue. Shock set in. From what I read, our problem was severe. From what I could tell the only treatment that was possible was IVF. We got a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist in March 2008 and had our appointment in May. After a few more tests and a review of our previous tests, the conclusion was what I had suspected -IVF with intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI). Initially, I was opposed to doing IVF, but after meeting with our doctor and much prayer we decided to pursue this option. The verse that really changed my mind was this:
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21
I realized that we could not bring forth life except for that which God allowed. We have been blessed by a doctor who is also a Christian and respects our desire to limit the number of eggs fertilized. I had to finish my summer semester of school before beginning. Then we had an appointment in September 2008 to get things started. We were suppose to start in October, but there was a delay due to a blood test that had to be drawn on a specific day of my monthly cycle which did not get drawn. Our first IVF/ICSI was in November 2008. On Nov 30, 2008 I got a BFP, but sadly my pregnancy ended in m/c on Jan 13, 2009. We believe our baby was a girl and so we gave her the name Johannah Elise. We went through IVF/ICSI #2 in April 2009. Right in the middle of the cycle, I received some very distressing news from the embryologist concerning an issue she saw in our previous cycle. She believed it was very likely the cause of my m/c. After researching the issue, it became clear to me it was going to take a miracle for me to get pregnant and carry a baby term. Unfortunately, IVF #2 was a BFN and we are still waiting on our miracle. At this time, we have decided not to pursue any further infertility treatment and plan on moving forward with adoption.