New Blog Name

I decided to change my blog name. Partly because I wanted something simpler and partly because I wanted to highlight one of the things the Lord has been teaching me lately. Why "Day by Day?" It started back in October/November when we were undergoing IVF. At the start of the process, it seemed completely overwhelming. How could I possibly take all those drugs, give myself shots every day, undergo surgery, etc. I remember looking at the at-home pharmacy I had on what use to be my kitchen counter thinking how am I ever going to remember what to take when I supposed to take it. How am I going to do this? And that's just some of the physical aspects. For me the emotional part of putting myself through all that and getting my hopes up, only to have it potentially not work was even more difficult. But the Lord spoke to me during this time, saying fix your eyes on me and take one day at I time. That's how you will get through this. And so I did and He faithfully saw me through the process.

Losing Johannah also meant the return of infertility. This is the other reason I like the name "Day by Day." When I think about infertility and the possibility that it will never end, it is overwhelming. But when I think about enduring infertility just for today, it is so much more manageable. The thing is I have no idea how long infertility is going to last, things could change tomorrow. All I need to do is look to the Lord trusting and obeying Him each day. When I do so, He provides me with "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow" (from the hymn "Great is thy Faithfulness).

One of the other things I really struggle with is wanting the Lord to give me a detailed road map of where I am heading. I want to know the outcome. In my ladies Bible study, I have been studying "Experiencing God" by Henry Blackaby. One of the points Blackaby made that really hit home with me was this one:

We say, "Lord, if You could just tell me where I am heading, then I will be able to set my course and go." He says, "You don't need to. You need to follow Me one day at a time." This response comes only from those who have learned to walk closely with God and to trust Him to care for the details of their lives.... Who really knows the way for you to go to fulfill God's purpose for your life? Who knows how you can experience abundant life? God. Jesus said, "I am the way."

By nature, I am a worrier and I like to be in control. But that is not how the Lord want me to live. He wants me to trust Him, to put my hand in His and follow Him step by step, one day at a time, wherever He leads me.

After I came up with "Day by Day," I wondered if there were any Scriptures that used that term. I found 2 Cor 4:16-18,

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

I love this Scripture. It says exactly what the Lord has been teaching me, which is to fix my eyes on Him and have an eternal focus. As painful as infertility is, it is a "light and momentary trouble" when viewed from the perspective of eternity.

Then I googled "day by day" and came across a hymn written by Lina Sandell. It was written not long after she watched her father drown after being thrown overboard after the ship they were traveling on suddenly lurched. Here are the lyrics:

1. Day by day, and with each passing moment,
   Strength I find to meet my trials here;
   Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment,
   I've no cause for worry or for fear.
   He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure,
   Gives unto each day what He deems best,
   Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure,
   Mingling toil with peace and rest.
   
   
2. Every day the Lord Himself is near me,
   With a special mercy for each hour;
   All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me,
   He whose name is Counsellor and Pow'r.
   The protection of His child and treasure
   Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
   "As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,"
   This the pledge to me He made.
   
   
3. Help me then, in every tribulation,
   So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
   That I lose not faith's sweet consolation,
   Offered me within Thy holy Word.
   Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
   E'er to take, as from a father's hand,
   One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
   Till with Christ the Lord I stand.

Meaning behind the Name

I wanted to share why I chose redeemed child of God. I chose "child of God" because of something I read in a book called Water from the Rock: Finding God's Comfort in the Midst of Infertility. I am so grateful this book was recommended to me by a good friend. If there is one book I would recommend (besides the Bible) for those struggling with infertility it would be this one. In the chapter on Inadequacy/Guilt, the authors discuss the importance of a relationship with God and having your identity soaked in Christ. They stated that when you are walking closely with Christ "your identity will rest in the reality that you are His child." Our adequacy and our significance comes from Him. It does not come from others approval, from accomplishments, from how I compare to others, an ability to conceive a child, or anything else. This quote from the book really spoke to me, "If motherhood is your only identity, you are missing out on something very important: A mother is not significant because she is a mother but because she is a child. The fact that she is a child of God makes her valuable" (pg. 69).

"Yet to all who receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God - children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God" John 1:12-13

Secondly, redeemed is pretty much my favorite word. One of my favorite books is Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. It was after reading this book that I turned my life to Christ. The story is basically about a woman who believes that she is soiled and unworthy, but finds the way back to God through Jesus Christ. I once believed I was beyond forgiveness, beyond redemption, that I had "out-sinned" the Cross of Christ. Eventually, I came to understand God's redeeming love and received His forgiveness. I finally know what people mean by "forgiven and free." The practice of redemption comes from the Greco-Roman slave market where slaves could be freed by the payment of a ransom. But I also have come to understand something else - I belong to Christ.

"You are not your own; you were bought at a price." 1 Cor 6:19b-20a

"You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men." 1 Cor 7:23.

"...Our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His very own, eager to do what is good." Titus 2:14

What was the price or the ransom that was paid for us?

"For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect." 1 Peter 1:18-19

When we trust in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we are no longer our own. This means my identity is now in Christ. My purpose, my significance, and my confidence are in Him. My life is to be surrendered to God's will, His purpose and plan.

"You also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God." Rom 7:4

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9

The reality is we were never our own. The freedom the world offers is an illusion. Apart from Christ we are in bondage to sin, its power and its penalty. The fact is we all serve someone in this life. We "are slaves to the one whom you obey - whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness" Rom 6:16b. I once lived this "empty way of life." I was self-destructing and full of despair. I was completely lost and felt terribly alone.

"What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death!" Rom 6:21

But now I have been set free. The Lord has lifted me out of the pit, He took me out of the downward spiral of self-destruction and set my feet upon the Rock (Psalm 40). Where there was once self-destruction, there is now restoration. Where there was brokenness, there is now healing. Where there was despair, there is now hope. Where there was condemnation, there is now none (Romans 8:1). I was once lost, but now I am "found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ" Phil 3:9. I was lonely, but now I know God is with me always and has promised to never leave me or forsake me (Isaiah 43:2, Hebrews 13:5). I know now that no one is "beyond redemption," no matter what they have done.

"I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you." Isaiah 44:22

"If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord,"and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame." Romans 10:9-13