FINAL APPROVAL!!!!!!

At 6:58 this morning my phone rang... I let out a shriek as I ran to pick it up. It was the call we have been waiting for- FINAL APPROVAL!!! We are now officially and legally the parents of Jonah RiYoon! There was a time when John and I thought we would never be parents and now we have two sons. I can't stop crying - so overwhelmed with joy and relief.

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." Psalm126:3

I am so sorry to all those who have followed our journey and to my family and friends that keep up with us through this blog for having to take down blog posts and for not being able to post updates from Korea. Just prior to our first meeting with Jonah, we heard that officials may be monitoring social media and would not look favorably upon posting pictures or details about our adoption process so I needed to be cautious. Now that we are legally his parents I hope to be able to post some pictures and details about our trip.

Overall, we had a great trip. Joshua is a fabulous traveler. He did so well on both plane rides and touring around Korea. He also handled the meeting with his foster mom really well.

Our court date went great. We had the nicest judge. He told us we had approval at the end and that he thought we would be great parents for Jonah (almost made me cry). We still had to wait for the written preliminary approval, but it was such a relief to know we had approval. We are living proof that you can still get approval with a somewhat disruptive, not perfectly behaved child. Joshua only got a 20 minute nap and the court was running late, so by the time we got in there, he was not at his best! As soon as we got in, he loudly pronounced that he was hungry, wouldn't sit still, kept talking, etc, but the judge didn't even blink an eye over it.

The most difficult part was the meetings with Jonah. Our first meeting with Jonah was especially difficult; he was very shy with me and wouldn't interact with me at all. It was way beyond normal two year old stranger anxiety. It was obvious he knew something was up and he wanted no part of it whatsoever! Who could blame him. He was much more receptive to John though, which makes complete sense because he is closest to his foster mom. He and Joshua also did not get along very well. Our social worker visited him last February and we know from her description that the way he was acting was very out of character. It makes me sad that we didn't get to see his real personality prior to his world being completely turned upside down.

Our second meeting with Jonah was much better. He still overwhelmingly preferred John, but I did have a great moment with him taking turns blowing bubbles, I would blow some air, make a face, and he would just crack up. Made me so happy! I was just so grateful for this; he actually gave me eye contact and it just made me feel like eventually everything will be okay. The most challenging part was the two boys, they did not get along well at all. Let's just say that we are calling it a win, since there was no blood. In all seriousness though this will be one of the most challenging aspects of bringing Jonah home; the level of violence was way beyond brothers fighting as brothers do, so PLEASE don't tell me they are just fighting like brothers. Brothers may fight, but they still share love and a bond which Joshua and Jonah do not yet have. We would so appreciate your prayers for their relationship.

I will be heading back to Korea next week!

A Dream Come True

During our years of waiting to become parents, one of the hardest times for me was the start of fall. That's when everyone starts posting all the adorable pictures of their kids at the pumpkin patch. I am not sure why these were so hard for me, maybe because fall is my favorite time of year. But each year my heart would ache and I would dream of just maybe someday taking a trip to the pumpkin patch with my own child.

Last year, Joshua was newly home, but because this was something I had always wanted to do, I pushed to go, a big mistake. It was pretty much a disaster. Joshua clung to me in absolute fear. How I wish I could go back and tell the me of one year ago to just be patient, the time would come. In fact, I would tell any adoptive family with a newly home child to give it at least 6 months to a year (and sometimes it is much longer), until then have your expectations around holidays low, don't push to do things your child may not be ready for, and don't compare yourselves to the other families that traveled around the same time as you. I wish I had known these things back then.

But what a difference a year makes. Our day could not have been more perfect; it was almost magical. It was actually quite chilly the morning we went, making it actually feel like fall here in Arizona! It was also quite windy, which wasn't so great for my hair, as you will see in the pictures below. But it didn't matter. Joshua loved it and we had a great time. He is obsessed with anything green right now, so he kept pointing to the green (unripe) pumpkins and saying, "green, green, green." Thankfully, he didn't get upset when I told him we couldn't get a green one, we had to get an orange one.

Here is our day in pictures, warning be prepared for picture overload!

Riding out to the pumpkin patch on the tractor:

Heading out to the patch:

Picking out our pumpkin:

Picture with mommy:

Heading back with our pumpkins:

Family photo:

Pumpkin carving:

 

Pumpkin #2:

 Posing with the pumpkin he picked out, picked because it had green :-)

 (This is his "cheese" - shoulders raised, tongue up)

And here with the finished product:

It was completely unintentional, but our pumpkins actually represent our family of three very well, don't you think? It was a day dreams are made of with the little boy who is "immeasurable more" than I ever dreamed.

I am so very blessed.

"Firsts"

In my last post, I wrote about my sadness over missing many of Jonah's "firsts." During our wait for Joshua, I wrote something similar here.

While it is true that we missed many of the big firsts and there is some sadness associated with that, there are so many more firsts we have gotten to experience and will experience in the future. I thought I would celebrate a few of them.

First time trying to ride a tricycle (not quite tall enough):

First living room fort:

Discovering that the pantry is a fun place to hide:

First Air Show:

First super hero cape:

First time being "tortured" by one of his cousins:

First PB&J:

Discovering pockets for the first time:

First bowl of cereal:

First "tattoo":

First imaginative play moment, he would fill up his pail, put it on his arm and tell me bye!:

"Discovering" ants for the first time:

I have truly cherished each one of these moments. I thank God every day for the privilege of being Joshua's mom. Missing so many of the most talked about firsts has made these smaller firsts that much more special to me. I especially love seeing him make new discoveries.

If you are waiting for your child to come home, especially those of you waiting on your first little one, I hope you will be encouraged as you see that there are so many wonderful first moments ahead of you. I love this post by Lisa which lists even more of them.

Feeling So Alone

Alternatively titled, "Crying in Church Every Sunday has Resumed." I hope this post doesn't come off too whiny, I am just feeling very sad and alone right now in regards to our second adoption. It is very rare for anyone to ask me about Jonah or ask how I am doing with the wait to bring him home. And it just makes me feel so alone. I wish people would ask me about it.

I can't help but contrast my current experience with that of a number of expectant moms around me. Their pregnancies are an ongoing topic of conservation, and rightly so. After all, a new life is coming into the world and their family is growing. That is something very exciting and is absolutely cause for celebration.

But our family is growing too. Yet no one asks me about it, which makes me feel like no one cares, like the way our family is being built is unworthy of celebration, that is is somehow "less than."

I realize that a growing belly gives a visible reminder of the upcoming event, and therefore prompts conversation. And I realize that no one has had the intention of being uncaring or hurting me. I write this post, not to criticize, but to say I need support too. I too want to celebrate what is happening in my family.

The thing is there are a lot of differences in growing your family by adoption versus the traditional way. I don't have a growing belly - other than when I let adoption stress get the better of me and start stress eating ;) - to remind me that my family is about to change. The new life, in our case, is already here, growing up half way around the world without us. We have no due date, only a hope and a prayer of when he will join our family. These things are very hard and make the adoption wait absolutely agonizing at times.

So if you know someone that is waiting to bring home a child by adoption please reach out to them, celebrate with them, joyfully anticipate the arrival of their child with them. Let them know you care, offer a word of encouragement, and most of all pray for them (and let them know you are praying). And if you know me, please ask me about Jonah. I have 2 sons, one is Joshua, and the other is Jonah. One has been home almost a year, the other will hopefully be home some time next year. Both are cause for celebration and both deserve to be joyfully anticipated every bit as much as a child that joins a family by birth.

Adoption Timelines

I put a new page on top of my blog detailing both Joshua and Jonah's adoption timelines - for all you timeline stalkers! :-) It also lists the steps still to come with Jonah's adoption.

Also, does anybody know if it is possible to take some of your previous posts and put them on a separate page?

Adoption Finalized!!!

On Monday, we went to court to finalize Joshua's adoption, concluding a 3 year long journey.

It was almost exactly three years ago that we arrived in DC heartbroken and yet hopeful, heartbroken because our 2nd (and last) IVF cycle was negative, yet hopeful because even in the midst of that cycle we felt our hearts being pulled toward adoption.

Shortly thereafter we began the adoption process. It was a process fraught with many ups and downs and more heartache and loss; an emotional roller coaster is how I hear it often described. But eventually, it led us to our son.

In many ways this final court date was anticlimactic. We have been a family since Joshua was placed in our arms on September 2nd. We sat at a table, answered a few questions in the affirmative, our social worker gave a positive recommendation, and then the judge spoke and signed the order. No gavel, no traditional looking court room, and yet this day was incredibly meaningful to me. I think it is the finality, the officialness, the FOREVER.

In that moment, Joshua JoonSeo became officially, legally, ours forever. And in that moment, he officially took on our last name.

Pictures from the day:

Getting ready for court with daddy.

Handsome boy!

Outside the courtroom, waiting for our turn to go in.

 

With the judge after finalization.

"I will sing of the LORD's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations." Psalm 89:1

"Not to us, O LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness." Psalm 115:1