Less Than a Month Until the Big Move (to Tucson, AZ!)

I know I put the news on Facebook, but I don't think I posted it here yet. It is official we are moving to Tucson, AZ. I wonder how long I will live there before I don't have to think about how to spell Tucson ('c' before 's'). Based on how it's pronounced, don't you think it would make sense that the 's' would go before the 'c'? So it appears that 2-4 years of good hair days are in my future.

I have mixed feelings about the move. Part of me loves the adventure and the chance to explore a new area. I feel I haven't lived where I want to live yet (if that makes any sense). So who knows maybe Arizona is the place where we would want to live, though I am pretty sure that place is Colorado even though I have never been there, or maybe Texas :-)

The other part of me is so sad to say good-bye once again. Since we lived in the DC area before we lived in FL, this is the second time we are saying good-bye to many of our friends here. But what I didn't expect with us being in this area for only 2 years was to have to say good-bye to new friends. But we will have to and though it is hard, I wouldn't want to change a thing because we have met some truly wonderful people. It is especially sad to me to be saying good-bye to the friends I have met recently who have or are adopting from Korea because of the bond we share.

It is scary to think about starting over in a completely new area. I have been to Arizona only once before (a work trip to Phoenix), so I really don't know what it's like there. John grew up in New Mexico so he has a greater familiarity with the southwest and is excited about moving back west - he is not a fan of the east coast at all. Being a bit shy and awkward socially, it is also really intimidating to me to make new friends. I find the first year at a new place is often a very lonely time. What makes this upcoming move a bit more difficult for me is that we will be going through it at such a major transition point in our lives as we become parents for the first time. Since John's last 2 years of school have been absolutely crazy and we really haven't gotten to spend much time with each other, I am really hoping we can just use the time while we don't know many people to reconnect with each other. Plus it will make "cocooning" with Joshua during our transition time much easier with less pressure to see friends and family.

There is one really bright spot for me in all this - a true "God thing." When I first posted about our move, mentioning that Arizona was a possibility, Christy left me a comment that she may also be moving to AZ. Not too long after that Grace organized a group of adoptive families (and adoptive families-to-be) to go to the Lunar New Year celebration at KUMC in Virginia. When I found out Christy was going to be there, I had this feeling that I needed to go, that she was someone I was supposed to get to know. Well fast forward till now, and guess what, Christy and I will be living only an hour from each other in AZ! An hour may sound like a lot, but after living in the DC area, I can tell you it is nothing. It takes me an hour due to traffic to meet up with Christy right now. How amazing is this: 2 women connect through blogging, both love the Lord, both live in the DC area, both are adopting from Korea, both are military spouses, and both end up moving to AZ!!!! How cool is that! To know I will have a friend nearby is such a blessing and is really helping to make this move more bearable. I love that we will be able to go to the airport for each other to celebrate our children's homecoming, set up a weekly play date, and just be there to support one another.

I do have a prayer request. We don't have the time or the finances for a house hunting trip right now, so please be praying we find a house quickly once we get out there. The new base housing is very nice, so we put an application in. We are currently #17 out of 18 on the waitlist. Not sure what are chances are of being offered a house in time so please keep us in your prayers.

Catching Up

This past month has been a busy one. I think my coping mechanism as of late has been trying to keep busy, hence my lack of blogging. Plus, I was just not feeling motivated to write anything. I think it was in large part due to my job which involves a lot of writing for journal manuscripts and research study protocols. Almost all my time is spent at my desk on the computer. And so sometimes the last thing I want to do when I get home is get on the computer. Often I will manage to check out the blogs I follow, but I am just unable to muster the strength to write anything or even to comment. This has been especially true this past couple of months because I didn't have our laptop which at least allows me to sit on the couch rather than at the desk on our home computer. The reason I didn't have the laptop was because it was with John in Florida. I didn't want to mention this on the blog for safety reasons, but John was in Florida for clinical training for his school program for 10 weeks. He left September 11th and didn't finish until just before Thanksgiving. Needless to say, I am thrilled to finally have him home! The trip to Florida I took in October was to visit him at the halfway point. The fact that John was gone definitely added to the stress of preparing our referral paperwork. However, I was so grateful that we got the referral call before he left. It was also the Lord's blessing that John went to Eglin AFB in Florida where we were previously stationed and so I was able to ship all the paperwork for John to sign to my friend Joia's house (Thanks again Joia!).

Here is some of what I have been up to (I want to write this to remember what I have done during this waiting time):

1. Ran the Army 10-miler at the end of October (my 4th time). I love this race!

2. Celebrated our 7 year anniversary (we actually celebrated together when I was in Florida since we couldn't be together on our actual anniversary). I love John more every year and I truly think he is the greatest blessing I have received after my relationship with Jesus.

3. Met up with Grace, Jen, Kala and Matthew, and Sandra and Ben. So much fun - good food and great conversation. It was such an encouragement to be with others who understand and to ask Kala and Sandra questions about what to expect (they have both brought home their sons fairly recently).

4. Hiked the infamous Billy Goat Trail near Great Falls with my friends Sarah, Cindy, and Stephanie. I snagged these pictures off the internet because I didn't have my camera that day, probably a good thing considering all the rocks and boulders to scramble over. This was probably one of the best hikes
I have been on, well worth the sore behind in the days that followed.

 

5. Saw the movie "For Colored Girls" on the Veteran's Day holiday with a friend from work. I can't say I would recommend this movie, it was probably one of the most disturbing movies I have ever seen in my life.

6. Hosted a fall dinner for friends of pork, sauteed apples, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie.

7. Shopped for a care package for Joshua (more on this later)

8. Had a fabulous birthday weekend - I turned 36 :-(  It began Thursday evening at my weekly NK prayer group where my friend Kate made my friend Stephanie and I (her birthday is the day after mine) Miyuk Gook (미역국), Seaweed Soup, also known as Birthday soup. It is traditionally eaten every year on your birthday. Then on Friday my boss took me out to lunch at my favorite restaurant Mrs. K's Toll House and later that evening I met up with Grace and Jen for dinner (not for my birthday, just to support each other). On Saturday I went to my church's annual craft show and found lots of good stuff including a knit hat for Joshua's care package. Saturday evening I went to an NK prayer meeting and got to hear the founder of North Korea Freedom Coalition give her testimony. On Sunday (my actual birthday) I went to brunch at Mrs. K's with my friends - yes, I went there twice in the same weekend :-)

9. Met John at my parent's house in Florida and spent Thanksgiving with my family. So many things to be thankful for this year, I actually started a post but never had the chance to finish it. One of the things that was most evident to me this past year was God's faithfulness:

Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name. 

For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Psalm 100: 4-5

Above all, I am thankful for my Savior who redeemed my life from the pit (Job 33:28).

Secondly, I am thankful for my husband.

Third I am thankful for our son Joshua.I can't wait to be his mom.

10. Continued taking Korean language classes at the embassy and took part in a 6 week woman's Bible study called Apples of Gold. I have learned quite a bit of Korean, but I am not ready to go on to Beginner 2 next semester - I need way more practice. My last class is this Wednesday. We will be learning to make kimbap so I am looking forward to it. My Bible study was wonderful - it was great to be in the Word on a more regular basis again and have fellowship with other ladies.

11. Put up the Christmas tree and decorations this past weekend and just enjoyed having my hubby home again.

Trip to Florida

Sorry for my blogging absence. I was hoping to have a few posts finished that I could schedule to post while I was gone, but the week leading up to my trip to Florida was pretty busy. I am trying to be a little more cautious regarding posting information about times when we will be gone. That may be silly or unnecessary, but it doesn't seem wise to me to announce to the world that I will be gone for a week, considering this blog is not anonymous. Anyway, I spent last week in Florida!!! It was a wonderful trip and I had such a great time. I went down to Eglin AFB which is located on the panhandle of Florida near Destin, an area I affectionately call "southern Alabama" because in truth it is more like Alabama than Florida. This is where we lived prior to moving to DC and we still have many friends in the area. In many ways, being there felt like going home. I love the warmth of the people there.

On my first night there, we had dinner at the Back Porch so we could watch the sunset.

I will never get sick of the beautiful white sandy beaches in Destin or the sunsets.

On Sunday, we got to attend our previous church and then have lunch afterward with some friends from our old small group.

At lunch, we received our first gift for Joshua! This beautiful quilt, done in a pattern called "Take Five" was made by our friends:

Later that evening we got to have dinner at their house and hear all about Tim's trip to the Congo.

On Monday, I got to celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving with Joia. She gave us this super cute outfit for Joshua. It says "Daddy's #1 Draft Pick." I love that it is the same style pullover that John likes to wear.

Later that evening, John and I celebrated our 7 year anniversary a few weeks early at Fleming's Steakhouse - so good!

 

The rest of the week involved dinners with friends, Wednesday night dinner at church, and attending the ladies Bible study I use to go to. 

At the ladies Bible study, they are doing a Beth Moore study on Psalms and the discussion ended up being on Psalm 127. I have previously written about my thoughts on that Psalm here and here. It was kind of a difficult discussion for me because Beth Moore makes the point that you can "mother" other children in your life even if you don't have children. Frankly, that whole idea just does not ring true to me and I find the words hollow and of no comfort whatsoever. The whole thing about being a spiritual mother is probably a whole post in itself, but how can anyone really compare the experience of parenting children and ACTUALLY being a mom to some vague notion of "mothering" other children (like in Sunday school class for example). Sorry, they don't even compare. There ended up being somebody who was dealing with secondary infertility in my discussion group and so I am glad I was there because I think it would have been even more difficult for her if there had not been someone else there who understood what she is experiencing.

The day after the discussion, I was actually feeling pretty down, so much so that I chickened out on going to see my friend Joia at the Cash in the Nursery sale. It just felt like it might be too much. I think I might need to get over my fear of the baby section at Target before taking on such an large scale event.

And last, but certainly not least, I got to meet Lisa of While I'm Waiting! We met at Beef 'O' Brady's and I think we must have talked for almost four hours. It was so wonderful to meet her and have a chance to get to know each other better. She has such a beautiful heart and such amazing faith in the Lord. I feel so blessed that through blogging, I would have a chance to come to know her as a friend. I was so excited to meet her though that I think I talked way too much : )

 

I was definitely sad to leave Florida again and say good-bye once again to our friends there. Good-byes are so hard. I was happy to say hello to our pup when I got back though - I missed her a lot!

We Are the Truth Campaign

I am sure everyone has heard by now about the little boy who was adopted and sent back to Russia. What a tragic situation this is, not only for the little boy, but for adoption in general. Part of what bothers me about this case is that adoption is most often painted in a negative light on television and in the news media. Whenever someone who was adopted commits a crime, for example, their adoptive status is always mentioned. Seems to me that far more crimes are committed by people who were raised by their biological parents. This case will only continue to spread misconceptions about adoption and adoptive children. I am not saying that there are not serious developmental and behavioral issues that occur. Very likely, the boy's mother was incredibly overwhelmed and perhaps ill-prepared to deal with some of these issues.

What also concerns me is that it puts international adoptions in jeopardy. I just received an email from our adoption agency about the "We Are the Truth" campaign being initiated by the Joint Council on International Children's Services. Here is part of their statement:

The outrageous treatment of Artyem by his adoptive family has rightfully resulted in outrage by the Governments of Russia and the United States and all who care about children. The tragedy has cast a light on intercountry adoption that says it is not safe, the system failed and adopted children cause insurmountable problems. The heartbreak of Artyem Saviliev’s abandonment has once again elevated a singular incident to a level which may result in the suspension of intercountry adoption. Suspending adoption, even temporarily, will only cause thousands of children to suffer the debilitating effects of life in an orphanage.

You, the community of adoptees, adoptive parents, adoptive grandparents, child welfare professionals and child advocates know that the outrageous and indefensible actions of one parent are not indicative of how children are treated by adoptive families. You know that families who encounter difficulties do not simply abandon their child. You know that help is available, that solutions are found and that families can thrive. And you know that suspending adoption does not protect children but only subjects them to the depravity of an institution…and an entire life without a family.

You, the adoption community know the truth. You live the truth. You are the truth.

Join our campaign to bring the truth to light and help children in need find a permanent and safe family.

To be a part of this campaign you can sign the petition letter here. And for all my blogging friends for have adopted, this is from the JCICS website:

We Are The Truth – an adoption blogger day: To ensure the world knows about every successful adoption, on Thursday, April 15, 2010 blog about your adoption or the adoption of someone you know. It doesn’t matter if your adoption is with Russia, domestic or otherwise international. Let the world know your truth!

So on April 15th let others know the truth about adoption!

Peter or Paul?

I read something in Beth Moore's book on the life of the apostle Paul "To Live is Christ" a few years ago that has never left me. In the chapter where she writes about Paul and Silas's imprisonment in Phillipi, she contrasts Paul's experience in prison in Acts 16 with Peter's experience in Acts 12. In Acts 12, Peter is led out of prison and out of the city by an angel of the Lord. In Acts 16, the Lord frees Paul from prison through a great earthquake, and yet he stays.

Beth Moore writes, "Sometimes God frees us from chains so we can turn our backs on our slavery and walk away like Peter in Acts 12. He was free to leave. As a result, the church that was praying for his release was edified. Other times God frees us from chains so we can remain where we are to share the message of freedom with other captives. Paul was free to stay. Because he did, a man asked, "What much I do to be saved?" (16:30). And an entire household found sweet liberty." Further down she writes, "One was free to leave and one was free to stay, but we each trust God with His perfect plan for our lives. God reserves the right to use His servants and their experiences in different ways. Let's try to resist copying a blueprint from another person's ministry."

Where am I going with this, you may be wondering. I have noticed a struggle that some in the adoption/loss/infertility community seem to have after having a child in regards to what to do with their blog. Change the name (if necessary) and keep updating on life with their new baby/child? Start a whole new blog? Stop blogging? What about readers who have supported throughout who are still "in prison?" This dilemma made me think of the above passage. Because I think the answer is different for each one of us. Some are called to stay and continue to minister to others struggling with infertility/loss. Others are freed to move on to be used for the purposes God has for them. I really appreciate the sensitivity of those who are concerned with those of us still waiting and therefore feel uncertain about posting pictures and updates of their new life. But there is no reason to feel guilty about this. God has done an amazing thing, celebrate it. Yes, it is true that some of us who are still waiting may not be able to read these blogs as frequently, but who knows we may be catching back up in the future when we are parenting as well. I believe those God calls to continue to minister to other women know it and have a specific desire to reach out and encourage others even though they themselves have been freed. If this is not you, you should not feel guilty about moving on. However, I do hope those who move on remember what was hurtful to them so as not to be hurtful to others. For those who have been freed to stay, I am so grateful for you ladies who come alongside others who are hurting to offer words of comfort, hope, and encouragement. What a blessing!

Not sure why I felt the need to write about this. Maybe someone out there needs to hear it.

P.S. This post is not directed at anyone in particular, I promise. Nor am I only referring to blogs on my list - I lurk on lots of other blogs (but not as regularly) and read LFCA.