Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I have much to be thankful for despite the difficulties and loss of this past year.

Last year at this time I was in the midst of my 2ww following my first IVF cycle. That cycle came to a devastating end, but it was followed by a time of healing that brought peace and closure to many old wounds and for that I am very thankful.

This past year we said a difficult good-bye to amazing friends in Florida, and were reunited with old friends here in Maryland. I am so thankful for our friends, our small group, and our church family in Florida. Not sure I would have made it through this past year if not for them. I miss you all so much! I am thankful for the friends I already had in Maryland, a support network waiting for me as soon as I got here.

This past year we let go of the dream of a child half me and half John, but then we began the exciting journey of international adoption.

This past year I had to put my dream of being a stay at home mom on hold. But the Lord provided me with a job before I even started searching, even in this economy. For that I am grateful. My salary is how we are funding our adoption and paying John's parents back for the money we spent on infertility treatment.

This past year I began to work with an organization that supports North Korean refugees. I have experienced unimaginable joy in this work and I am so grateful the Lord has allowed me to be a part of His work. I have begun to see how God is redeeming the greatest hurts of my life and using them for good.

This past year we returned to the church where we were married. I am looking forward to reconnecting with old friends and making new ones as we become part of this local body of Christ.

This past year John and I have grown even closer together and have learned to find the humor in every circumstance. I am so thankful for my best friend.

This past year I learned what it meant to be "joyful in God my Savior" Habakkuk 3:18. This verse is one of my friend Wendi's favorite verses and one she relied on during her battle with infertility.

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior."

To be honest when I first heard this verse it didn't resonate with me. But after we lost Johannah, when I was in my darkest hour, broken, and unable to imagine how God would allow us to lose a baby we had tried to conceive for four years, I came to understand this verse. Because no matter what has happened or will will happen in the future, there is one truth to take hold of - God is my Savior. I need never again to doubt His love for me no matter what happens because the Cross fully demonstrated His love. "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" Romans 5:8. He died that I might have life, and have it abundantly. He died that I may enter into a relationship with my Father in heaven. He died so that an exchange may take place, my sin for His righteous, so that I could stand before the Lord God cleansed of all my sin. How amazing is this! I would listen to "There is a Fountain" over and over again and be filled with unspeakable joy as I reflected on this truth, "There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel's veins; and sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains." I will simply never get over God's amazing grace; what He has done for us is astounding and I am forever grateful.

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!


Alicia said...

I'm amazed at your faith! SO encouraging! I'm looking forward to seeing this adventure of international adoption unfold in your lives. God bless you both and Happy belated Thanksgiving!

A said...

Beautiful post! I especially love the Scriptural reflection :)