Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Notarized Copy of Home Study Received!

I finally added a "waiting to adopt" ticker to track our waiting time. Hard to believe we have already been waiting almost 3 months for a referral! I actually haven't thought a lot about the waiting time. I think that will happen once we actually have a referral and are waiting for the specific child that will become our child. I think that wait will be agonizing.

We finally received a notarized copy of our home study in the mail today! Now we can file our I600A with U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS). This form is called an "Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition." This basically allows the federal government to give us approval for adoption prior to receiving a referral. Thankfully, it is a short form. We submit it along with our home study, birth certificates, and marriage license. Then we get an appointment for MORE fingerprints. Between getting a government job and going through the adoption process, it will be my third time (and 5th set - one for the FBI and one for the state) of finger prints in a year! After we get a referral, we file an I600, which is called a "Petition to Classify Orphan as an Immediate Relative." It feels so good to take even this small step forward.

Tomorrow evening, our adoption agency is having a waiting families support group meeting for the Korea program. I am excited (and a little nervous) about it. I am hoping it will give us the opportunity to connect with another couple who has shared our experience with infertility, whether primary or secondary. I remember being very disappointed when we went to the pre-adoption training class. I was expecting there to be other couples like us, but there wasn't. I am sure this wait is hard for everybody, but honestly I really don't think it is the same for someone who has 3 boys who decided to adopt because they really want a girl. I am really not ready or interested in connecting with these families right now. I know this attitude represents some ugliness in my heart, but I want to be honest about what I am feeling on this journey, and not just share the parts that are pretty. I am sure there will come a time when I see one of these families across the room, and there will be an instant recognition and connection based on our shared journey. But I am just not there yet. Right now I feel I could best give and receive support from another couple who has a history of infertility who has/is experiencing many of the same emotions we are.

Please say a prayer for our meeting tomorrow.

P.S. IVF post is coming up - I haven't had a chance to sit down and write it. I know it will take me a little more time to write and I don't want to rush through it.


Jennifer said...

Yea for the notarized copy of the hs!!!

I'll be praying that you find some other people to connect with at the meeting. I don't think it's ugly at all that you don't want to bond with people with kids right now. I totally understand that. I have enough friends with kids...I want to meet other couples adopting that understand what we are going through...that get it. Will be praying for you!

A said...

Congratulations! Will be praying that you actually do find support at your group meeting.

Hannah said...

Oh that's great that you got the notarized copy! Hoping & praying you will find couples you can connect with. I agree, it would be easier for me to connect with a first-time parent.

Flakymn said...

I think these feelings are very normal in regards to who you can get support from. There have been various stages in my life both in pre, during and post-infertility that I could truly only get the support I needed from a select group of individuals. I think that is why support groups with LIKE individuals are so helpful. (And why Hannah's Prayer has like 500 sections!) I think you can choose to say: "I can't get support from those people right now," without being ugly at all. It's just the truth.

So excited to meet your little one!

Stacey said...

Saying a prayer that your meeting goes well tonight and that you'll make some good connections.

Lisa said...

What a cute little ticker! :)

Yay for another step in this process being crossed off!!

I think that it is completely OK that you are not ready to hang out with all of the families adopting from South Korea. The ones that have biological children are in a different place than you...their wait IS going to be different. I don't think that it is necessarily "ugliness" in your heart at all. It is just recognizing that they are in a different place and you aren't ready to spend too much time with them. Praying for the support group meeting! Oh wait...it was last night! How did it go??

The Sherrill Family said...

How did your meeting go?