Before I left for Phoenix, John and I watched the movie Adopted. You can watch the trailer below:
I highly recommend this movie to anyone involved in adoption. At the beginning of the movie, there was a quote from "Beyond Good Intentions" by Cheri Register. It said,
"The joy and the tragedy coexist. That is the paradox of adoption, and we are all caught up in it."
It was so validating to see this quote. So often over these last few months, I have wanted to write about what I am learning about adoption (and I still hope to do so), but I haven't been able to. I think this is what I have been wrestling with - in adoption joy and sorrow intermingle - and this is very different from the view of adoption many have. I think many people see the positive side of adoption (and there is much that is wonderful) and fail to see that there are losses, especially for birthparents and adoptees. It has been quite a process to begin embracing both the joy and sorrow of adoption and realizing that they can and do coexist. I have always thought that you either have joy or sorrow, and have done everything I can to avoid sorrow and control the losses in my life (as if I can control them). Through this process, I am become much more accepting of the fact that tragedy and sorrow are unavoidable in life. They will both be part of our child's life, and my life, and there is nothing I can do to change this. And that is okay. Because there will also be joy.