Wednesday, February 24, 2010

If Not for Infertility.....

I mentioned in my last post that my excitement had returned, but it was actually not finding out our interview was coming up that brought it about. It was a response I received by email from a blog reader who is an adoptive mother and the encouraging comments after I wrote The Sorrow in my Heart and A Painful Realization.

It was also several blog posts I came across at that time. I would highly encourage you to check them out, especially if you are contemplating adoption. I think you will be blessed. This is in no way an attempt to "push" adoption on anyone. I only want to share how blessed I have been over these last couple of weeks.

Elaine at God's Faithfulness through Infertility posted Healed Heart shortly after I wrote "A Painful Realization" and I felt God speaking directly to me through it. Several days later she wrote Did all that really happen? and expressed how her daughter was so worth the pain of infertility and how unfathomably heartbreaking it would be for her if Little Bug was not her daughter.

"Just Believing" wrote about how her heart is overflowing with all that God has done in her family and how at peace she is with the possibility of never experiencing pregnancy.

Jennifer at Thought from a Blonde wrote about her friends who have adopted. She wrote, "I can look at their family and know how perfect she is for their family. Without infertility that our dear friends struggled with, this precious child would not be in theirs" and "If this couple would have conceived a child they would not be parents to these four children. How could they not be a part of their family?"

In the emails I received from an adoptive mother of several children, I was particularly encouraged by several things. It was so encouraging to me because she is really speaking from the "other side," having never experienced pregnancy and now several years down the road on the journey. I share this with her permission:

"Just wanted you to know that for me the sorrow has gone away - in fact it seems odd to even use that word now."

"I must say, the wait to become a parent was probably the most trying of anything I have experienced so far. I can honestly say it was worth every minute though."

"As far as pregnancy goes for me, I don't know that I would say that I am glad that I was never able to experience that. However, if I would have we would not have the family that we do now and I, of course, would never trade our family for anything."

"I just want to keep encouraging you, though, that it is possible to get through this and to be able to look back and smile. We may not ever fully understand it all on earth, but God knows exactly what He is doing and I am sure when we see the full picture in heaven some day we will be in awe of his wisdom, grace, and love."

"I think it is easy for people to get discouraged if some adoption processes have a lot shorter waiting period than others."

"It is incredible to think how God specifically put our family together and we will take His timing over ours any day!! We tell our kids that before the world was even made God knew that our family would be together."

The common message I take from all of these lovely ladies is that, "If not for infertility...." they would not have their children and that would truly be heartbreaking.

I am once again resting in His plan.


Jennifer said...

What a great post. It seems that everyone who has adopted says the same thing. We visited with our friends that adopted Friday night and they both said that they cannot imagine not having their daughter. That whatever road they traveled to get to it was worth it. She is their own child in every way that mattered.

My husband's dealing with not having a child that looks like him. I get that, but our friends told him that even though a child we adopt may not look like him, this child will pick up so many of his mannerisms that it will seem as if this child is our biological child. I think Barry is just scared. I know he is going to be an amazing father and that God is still working on his heart. He is just so sad right now.

Can't wait to see what God has planned for all of us. ((HUGS))

Courtney said...

Beautiful post! I just wrote a post recently about this too. It really does all make sense once you hold that little one in your arms.