Monday, January 25, 2010

In a Holding Pattern

I had a great weekend in Florida visiting my family. The highlight of course was the chance to love on my niece and nephews. I went to the zoo, had a sleepover, and got my hair done by my niece. Let's hope she never learns how to get photos off her cell phone :)

Unfortunately, I came back and immediately came down with a cold. Hence my lack of blogging last week. I am now on the mend.

I also had lots of homework to catch up on this past weekend for my Perspectives course . I am loving it, a complete shift in my thinking is taking place. It really gives you a more global vision of God's purpose in the world. But I must say the reading and homework is kicking my behind! It is a lot of work.

No news on our adoption home study. We are still waiting for one form, a child abuse clearance, from the state of Maryland. When I contacted our agency, they said it was now taking 8.5 weeks for the form to come back which means it may not arrive until the end of January. They won't assign us a social worker and precede with the rest of the home study until this form arrives. So we are in a holding pattern. I was feeling pretty anxious about this delay initially, as I envisioned all kinds of scenarios and problems coming up resulting in us not getting approved. Thank God for my hubby who patiently reassures me of how unfounded my fears are. Recently, the Lord has given me a peace about this delay. I don't know the reason for the delay, but perhaps there is a reason for it that will become clear as His perfect plan unfolds in His perfect time.

It is really difficult to know what will happen as far as the designated situation I wrote about in this post. We are still pursuing it, but I am not sure how this delay is going to affect things. C has not yet relinquished her parental rights; from what I understand she is waiting for us to get approved. But I can't exactly wish for her to do so. I wish for her to be able to parent, for Y not to have to go through the loss of her mother. Currently, Y is in a government facility for children of low income mothers which was described to me as an around the clock daycare. To me it sounded like an orphanage which broke my heart thinking about Y in that place. I think the only difference from an orphanage is that C still has legals rights and she can go and pick Y up and take her home. She just can't pick her up and drop her off; she either has to take her home or leave her there. She can visit Y at the facility though. I really don't know what it is best in this situation. I pray continually for Y and C. I ask God to protect Y emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually and give C strength. Y will be 2 in March so she is at an age when transitions and loss are especially difficult. I ask God to help C to parent and find the resources she needs to enable her to care for Y. But it may not be possible, C is very young and life is extremely difficult for North Korean refugee women. She also has significant health problems. If Y is the child the Lord has chosen for us because C is not able to parent her, then we will receive her as a precious gift from the Lord. All I can do is wait. And pray.


Alicia said...

I'm so glad that you had a great time visiting family in Florida. I'm glad that your doing better. I had a cold last week too that kicked my butt.

So much to pray for with your adoption. It's amazing to see how the Lord uses this to draw you to Him and to let you know that He's at your side and in control. No need to fear!

I will be praying for Y to be comforted and kept in God's care. I will be praying for C too and her ability to parent and for strength to make the best decision for Y.

Thank you for your encouraging comments on my blog.

A said...

I stand with you in prayer as you await your child, wherever he/she might be right now!!

Lisa said...

Come on State of Maryland!! Hurry it up! I am so glad that God has given you a peace about the delay and that you are able to pray so unselfishly for little Y. I pray that God's timing in all of this will be so perfect it will knock you off your feet!

Stacey said...

I'm so glad you had a great time with family! It's great to hear that you are feeling at peace about this time of waiting. I'm still trusting that the Lord has worked out His plan for you and I'm excited to see it unfold! Glad you are feeling better (my hubby has a terrible cold and is home from work today)!