Thanks for the prayers and encouraging words after my last post. It feels good to know that what I am feeling is normal. I am feeling a little better, helped along by the following:
1. My flight is booked - I am going to visit my friend Wendi in Turkey! (don't freak out mom)
2. A date has been set for my second shower - April 23rd in central Florida (it is too difficult and expensive for all of my family to come to me in MD, so I am going to them)
3. A date has been set for my third (and final) shower - April 30th, hosted by my friends in MD
4. My last day of work is Friday!!!
Having all of this to look forward to is definitely helping.
I realized that what I have been feeling is more than missing Joshua and frustration about the lack of updates/information. It is also apprehension about leaving work and moving. So much change is coming up. And it is also about feeling overwhelmed about the prospect of finally becoming a mother. It is hard for me to even write that, but it is true. I have waited so long for my dream of becoming a mom to come about and now that it is finally almost here, I am scared to death. I feel totally inadequate and unprepared. I am bothered by how much I don't know, about being a mom, and about the little boy I will become a mom to.
Last Saturday, we hit the 5 month mark on our wait.
6 more months to go! (roughly)
In 6 months, I am going to feel more ready. Right????