Monday, April 26, 2010

A Day of Unexpected News

I am having a really hard time right now. It seems like everywhere I go lately, I am reminded of babies and pregnancy. We currently have house guests staying with us while they house hunt. We are not super close with them, but I have to say I wasn't expecting them to show up at our house with an obvious baby bump we had heard nothing about. I guess they didn't know how to tell us. Then I just got terrible news from our Korea program coordinator. After we receive a referral in 6-9 months, we will have to wait another 9-11 months to travel to Korea to pick up our child. If we take the average of both times, we will now be waiting at least 18 months. When I was pregnant, I dreamed of setting up our nursery in our third bedroom. When we first moved in, the third bedroom sat empty for quite a while, a painful reminder of what was not to be. But the one thought I was consoling myself with was that I would not leave here (we are due to move in May 2011) with empty arms. Now it looks like I will be. We will again move and still not have a child. It is hard to even write this. I am crying as I do. I am so afraid of the Korea program going the way China did, where the wait just keeps getting longer and longer. It use to take 1 year to adopt from China, now I have heard it takes 5 years. The reason given for the delay was this:

"This is due to the Korean government (Ministry of Health, Welfare, and Family Affairs) emigration permission issuance quota that ESWS has been assigned. Based on the number of children who have already been matched, the quota will be exhausted before the processing of the April 1 (and after)-submitted families occurs."

So basically families that have accepted a referral after April 1st will not get to travel this year and so this is going to push everyone back.

I had begun to pray that the Korean government would change their policy on issuing quotas even before I got this news. I am going to continue to pray that they change this policy. I feel it is only hurting the children. These are children who were available for domestic adoption in Korea and were not adopted who have now ALREADY been matched with families. I understand their desire to cut down and possibly eliminate international adoptions, but I really don't see how this helps accomplish this goal.

I am really trying to trust God with this. I know His timing is perfect. But I am just so sad.

11 comments:

Amy said...

Becky, I hear your frustration loud and clear. How disappointing to hear this news. It's an exhausting emotional journey, one that not everyone can understand completely. I share your heartbreak with the especially long wait. The Lord has great plans for you and your husband. I'll be praying for you. ~Amy

Joia said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this painful news (on both fronts), will be praying for a miracle with Korea!

Morningsun said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the travel delay. Do you think the quota also applies to to the waiting children? Is this for your agency only or for the whole country?

Becky said...

Morningsun, as far as I know the quota applies to waiting children as well (also our agency did specifically mention in the email that it applied to families in the Korean Heritage program as well). Each agency has a their own quota from the Korean government. Eastern has already reached theirs this year with the matches that have been made so far. So the quotas do apply to the whole country, but your agency won't be affected unless they reach their particular quota.

Flakymn said...

Becky. I am crying with you. My heart burns for you.

Courtney said...

I'm so sorry and so sad with you. Praying. I wrote that last post on prayingforalittleone before I saw this, or I would have mentioned that you are having an extra hard time right now.

Lisa said...

Oh Becky...I am so sorry. I am so frustrated for you as I read this and want to go talk to the Korean government myself to fix this for you. Do you think they would listen to me??? :) Continue to share your frustrations with the Lord and trust in His plan and He will give you peace that surpasses our understanding, even through this.

A said...

Oh gosh, Becky. What a tough time to get the news from Korea. I'll be praying for God to move some mountains to bring your little one home sooner than you can imgine!!

DeniFay said...

Becky, I'm sorry for this horrible news! I'm praying with you! i know that feeling of the empty room that you just leave sitting there. I had to keep the door closed and stay out. In our old house, I painted the walls the color I wanted the nursery, and it was never nursery! :( Sending you love!

Stacey said...

Oh Becky. I'm sorry about the unexpected baby bump walking through your door and for this delay in bringing home your baby. I'm praying God will intervene to make it happen sooner, and either way, that He will give you comfort and peace while you wait. (((HUGS)))

Anonymous said...

I received this same news today. We have a referral, our son who just turned 1 in Korea. He was waiting for us and we were led to him. I had just gotten used to the idea that it would take approx. 6 month until I travel to bring him..and now this.
I understand how you feel. Your post echoed my own feelings. I am praying for a change of mind and heart.
In Him,
Mia in PA